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My mom goes to work every morning at 8 and she yelled at my grandma this morning. My mom and I are very stressed that my grandma keeps calling her every morning. It's tiring to be called every morning and not get enough sleep. My mom says she will be sending her to a center where she will be cared. My grandma usually calls for no reason. She just like getting up, when she can't sleep, or go to the restroom. She doesn't like to sleep in bed. She thinks sleeping is a torture. She likes to sleep in her chair in the living room. This morning she called my mom several times at 3-4am. Sometimes she call my mom at 5-6am.

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Dear apersonwhocares,

I'm so sorry to hear how stressful this is for your mom. She is carrying a heavy burden, working full time and also caring for your grandmother. My dad was also up all night and slept during the day.

I wonder if your grandma is scared or just has her time turned around. I know this is very hard on your mom. She might need to consider hiring a caregiver. Or moving your grandmother into a nursing home. I know your mom doesn't want to ignore your grandmother, but at the same time its impossible for your mom as well because she needs her sleep.

Hopefully your mom can have the doctor assess your grandmother and see what options are available.
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Why does Grandma do this? Because she has dementia. Her brain is damaged.

You are right that sleep deprivation can be a serious problem for the caregiver. I think your first line of defense is to have a serious conversation with Grandma's doctors. Can they find a way to help GM sleep through the night?

If the medical approach doesn't work, it may be necessary to make different living arrangements for GM. Three shifts of trained staff awake and alert could care for her in ways that one caregiver can't do in a private home.
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My mom went through a phase when she couldn't tell if it was day or night. You'd think a quick look out the window would help but - nope. Mom was living in Independent Living at the time and would call me on the phone. At first she didn't realize she was confused - would say to me "it's three o'clock and you said you'd be here at noon"! To which I'd reply "mom, it's three in the morning"! After a while of this she realized she was confused and would still call me but then just to ask me if it was am or pm - at 3:00am - grrrr! This went on for a while but then it morphed to her calling me at 5am asking why I wasn't there yet to take her to her 11am doctor appointment. She know it was 5 am - knew her appointment was at 11am but honestly didn't get that it was not necessary for me to arrive six hours early to take her on a 15 minute drive.

In other words - this phase won't last. However, odds are it will just move onto something equally bad - or worse.

Perhaps it is time - no pun intended - to actually consider different living arrangements for your grandmother as she truely can not help what she's doing.
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Reading back your Mum might find that lying flat in a bed is causing her pain - We have a profile bed now but before that I use to put a wooden wedge under her mattress which meant she was not laying flat in bed and that did seem to help. Now I raise her legs and her torso and she sleeps much more comfortably than before
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Mum went through a period of calling out for me A LOT and I mean a lot maybe 8 or 9 times in one night and it has seriously disrupted my sleep pattern. She now has a buzzer but I have to say that can, when she is 'on one', actually be a lot worse 14 times in one night has been the record and sleep deprivation is a total killer - you simply can't function effectively (if at all).

It is definitely symptomatic of dementia but also of ageing in general when sleep is something that older people do all day or all night or doze on an off throughout 24 hours sometimes. Mum does sort of know whether it is day or night but it doesn't necessarily register in the way you might think it would - if she is awake and wants to chat she will buzz me and sadly that can be at silly o'clock in the morning.

I was at absolute breaking point and went to the docs with an either or situation. Either you sort out her sleep so I can get some too or she goes into care against her will and I absolve myself of all responsibility. The doc positively and literally sat up and the script was written in seconds. They KNOW what we are going through - they just choose to ignore it sometimes which p^&*%$ me off but I guess they have a job to do too.

It might also be that she is anxious and I know that in addition to the sleep enhancers Mum also has antidepressants and they are working - she is actually being almost human to me most of the time which is a real distance from a couple of weeks back when I couldn't do a thing right.
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Oh and she doesn't speak english, so if someone help her. There's not much to do.
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No, I meant like calling her name in the house. We live together.
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According to your profile your Grandmother has Alzheimer's/Dementia, thus her brain isn't working correctly.   To Grandmother 3-4 a.m. is 7-8 a.m.   She cannot help what she is doing.

Best thing to do is arm yourself with all the information you can on Alzheimer's/ Dementia.   Scroll down to the bottom of this page to the blue section.... on your left you will see ALZHEIMER'S CARE, click on that... now read all the articles.   The articles aren't that long, gives good information and suggestions on what to do.   Sadly the disease only gets worse, so be ready.
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Take your phone off the hook. Put the phone on "silent". Mute the phone. Put the phone in another room in a drawer.

In other words...fix it so you cannot hear it. Check the phone answering machine or voice mail when you get up.
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