Long story short, my 90-year old bedridden grandma is slowly dying... or maybe not so slowly. The doctor wouldn't specify how long she's got, but she's been refusing almost all food and water for about 10 days now. 'Almost' being the key word. I live with her and have a good relationship with her. We were never close, but we respect each other and I know her life has been miserable for years. She's almost blind, almost deaf, has no hobbies or interests left - she just lies there and stares at the ceiling. So when she gradually started eating less and less in the last 3 months, I accepted it quickly - after all, I wouldn't want to live the kind of life she has left :-/ In the past 10 days or so she refuses practically all food and drink. She only drinks to take her meds and to moisten her mouth. I've started applying lip balm to her lips and she likes that. The rest of the time she's generally sleeping or staring blankly mid-naps. She's not demented, just tired and apathetic. But that's only when it's just the two of us. When someone else is here (I get lots of help from family and a hired aid), she seems to try to please them and is more likely to agree to a meal. Of course, she then eats only a few tea spoons, and is quite happy to stop eating again as soon as this person leaves. I am not sure what to think. I firmly believe that she's doing it to please them, seeing as they have a hard time accepting that she's nearing the end. She doesn't seem to take any enjoyment from the food, she doesn't even care what it is. When we are alone, I offer her food and drinks regularly and she only accepts very rarely. I've tried explaining to the rest of the family that pushing her to eat is only delaying the inevitable and we should allow her to make these final decisions for herself... and they generally agree, but they just can't do it. She sees them and feels their pain and frustration and she tries to be a good (grand)mother to them - and I believe this is making her miserable for longer. Yes, I sound pessimistic, and no, she's not terminal. But she's shown clearly that she doesn't want to live, and I have just accepted that I cannot change that and the only thing I'm required to do is make her comfortable. Any thoughts, advice and similar stories are most welcome - I just feel so alone, and sometimes think that maybe I'm the evil one, maybe everyone else is being better family than I am, and I am just there trying to kill her faster and get the apartment for myself. But then again, I am the one being up half the night trying to manage her pain... Thank you!