A lawyer told me that if grandma goes to a nursing home, I will have to pay back all of the money she has given us to care for her because we are her family. How can that be?

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How can this be true! I was told that if grandma has to go to a nursing home I will have to pay back all the money she has givin us to care for her because we are family but if we were strangers we could keep it! How can that be? The money she gives us goes toward her diabetic food and other foods we don't normally get. Her diapers, personal items such as soaps, makeup, etc. And it helps with the increase in bills like water, electric, the extra laundry soap and so on. Why would that have to be paid back when it goes to her so it don't have to come out of my pocket. I could not afford to do all that and give up my job to care for her 24/7. We had to call michigan legal to get some help with a granddaughter of hers who has more degrees and money then I could dream of and who never even calls to see how she is, who wants all her money! And the poor woman has really nothing! No property nothing!! I have POA and so dose her daughter. And this granddaughter is just trying to get what she can get. And she took her to a lawyer and drew up papers that grandma has no clue of. Don't know who they could do that when her daughter is still living and has POA. What the hell good is having POA when anyone can just get her to sign and do what they want with her and she has alzheimers!! There is something really wrong with this system if this is true! Grandma was the one who wanted to help us out for helping her stay out of a home. But if that day comes that we can no longer help her here at home How in the hell would I be able to come up with money that went for her care? I gave up my job to keep her here. This is just bull shit! I have a note from her doctor that says he feels that I would be the best one to take guardianship of her because he feels I have taken the best care of her and her blood pressure and sugar are now in normal range. Somebody please help me!!

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An account may not be up on the medicaide rules that many and chan In short ge you really need an elder lawyer he will be able to tell you what paperwork you need and in my state you have to submit any bank records for the past 3 years-trust me you do not want to do all this alone a social worker did more for me in 10min than I could have done in two days and she did not have to play phone tag which I would have had to do. In short medicaide needs to know that the elders did not give away as gifts large amounts of money anything over $2000.00 I had to be able to account for it is their thinking that every one going on medicaide are trying to cheat them which was commonly done in past times so we all pay the price for what others did in the past they are not going after the person feeding and clothing and providing a home for the elder.
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To my way of thinking---I cannot see why you would have to return the money..At this point I would ask an accountant-as the laws in each state could possibly be different. If there is a dementia involved--call you local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association-as they have a legal department...or call their helpline @ (800) 272-3900. You possibly can cal your nursing home ombodsmum as well.
Best,
Hap
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I agree you need to see an elder lawyer and I am sure you can use her money for that because you will need help with the medicaide application. When I started doing that a year and a half almost ago I only had to justify any withdrawels from our bank accounts over $2000.00 and had to have my bank print up 3 years of statements which they did easily it took about a week. Medicaide does not go after people like you who use money for her care they want to make sure she has not gifted large sums to others so she can get medicaide and my husband had been in rehab and would have gone on medicaide pending and the social worker was helping me with the paperwork but he got very ill and died before he had to go on medicaide pending but a local elder lawyer is the person who will know what you need and will be able to answer your questions and do not worry people go on medicaide every day and the lawyer and the social worker will help-my MIL was in a nursing home and since she had assests she went in on private pay and the nursing home did what had to be done when it was time for medicaide remember they want to get paid and know how to get it done easily.
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Deb,
First of all you are to be commended for talking on this huge task. The first thing I would to is to persue the guardianship (called conservatorship as well). This will allow you to control all aspects of her care, as well as her financial situation and remove the grandaughter from the picture. Next I would look at the other papers that were done by the grandaughter. They should have no merit if the original POA is still alive. Once all this is in place, I would look at hiring an eldercare attorney to start the Medicaid process and look at all the financials. If you can prove that all the money has been used for her medical and personal expenses, I dont think there will be a problem. This is only if the money was "gifted" in a lump sum to the family to reduce her assets. In Medicaid's eyes, they think people try to do this to qualify for Medicaid quicker. With your situation, this is not the case. I hope this has been some help.
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