he suffers from Parkinson's. Its shattering for my mom to look at her like this. Please HelpMy grandmom is 68. She has trouble to talk and just can't speak.The Parkinson's affects her confidence levels. Its infuriating sometimes cuz other people can't understand her. Sometimes she just wont speak, even with my mom. For a day or so she would go without talking. And when it comes to taking her pills, she would close her mouth tightly and and won't let us feed her. We have tried many a tricks but she won't budge. Her son, my mom's brother, has even tried showing to different doctors, but the results don't change. Sometimes she doesn't even eat. Transfers everything to her husband's plate. It is saddening to see my grandma and my mom in this state. I can't do much help either. Can someone please give my a solution for this? Thank you.
Lots of things that should not be done in long term facilities are often continued for convenience, lack of time or plain inexperience. Save your battles for the most important problems. Getting a reputation as a complainer won't get you anywhere.Just keep your powder dry.
Llamalover, just to be clear, I'm not telling the OP to crush meds that shouldn't be crushed. We don't even know if her loved one is *taking any meds that shouldn't be crushed! So all this alarm may be moot, but please don't tell me that my own firsthand experience is inaccurate. I'd appreciate that.
I'm simply saying that crushing meds and putting them in pudding is an option.
Suppose your loved one is getting an extended relief pain med do you want he/she to get that all at once? All kinds of nasty things can happen from coma to death and screaming in agony as soon as it wears off many many hours before the next dose is due.
Be sure to check the reason why something can not be crushed. Ask your pharmacist if it is home care or the NH staff. If they don't know call or visit a neighborhood pharmacy and ASK. Even post a question Can XXX be crushed? Any thing that has ER after the drug name has a reason not to crush it.
If the behavior of refusing to eat or take meds is new, or newer,
have her tested for a urinary tract infection, (UTI).
A UTI in the elderly is signalled by behaviors, as often they don't present with the usual symptoms-sometimes there is not even a fever.
He HATED and I mean HATED the meds. All had s/e. Nothing really "helped". He went steadily downhill for almost 10 years. He wanted to die, and finally did just refuse to eat, drink or take his meds. Mom freaked out, but he got his way.
Maybe grandma just has too many people in her face. Daddy HATED the attention, the fuss, etc. He was compliant if there was just one of us and if you gave him options. He felt that he was being babied and he didn't have dementia of any kind until the very last few weeks.
Don't assume that grandma is not totally aware of what she is doing. Give her some space, maybe. All the advice here is good. I wish you luck. Parkinson's is one horrible disease.
How far along is grandma in her Parkinson's journey?
She is only 68 she may have quite a few years left still.
Now it all depends on what she wants for herself. Does she simply want to turn her face to the wall and die or is she still capable of enjoying some activities and refuses pills and food because she simply can't swallow.
All of these disabilities are very frustrating and depressing and as I said before she is still young and obviously has a loving family around her.
Many people with this kind of disabling condition agree to have a feeding tube placed. It is possible to have a temporary tube placed which goes down the nose into the stomach. A nurse can easily do this with minimal discomfort. i would not recommend this long term as it is very irritating and she probably would be sensitive having people see her like this. The alternative is to have one placed directly into the small intestine which can't be seen under clothes. This does involve having a very small incision made in the belly which can be done with sedation or anesthetic. Once this is place feedings are given at times of one's choice usually overnight for convenience and the formula used supplies most of the needed nutrition. Medicines can also be crushed and given this way. The caregiver requires a little training to learn to use the equipment but it is quite simple and many patients manage the whole thing them selves. Grandma probably can't because her hands will be too shaky.
Important to start by talking to the Dr and discussing the options including stopping some medications.
With a tube in place as long as Grandma can still safely swallow she can eat some of her favorite foods but it will no longer be a daily battle.
At the moment, your family is equating the medications with your grandmother feeling better and with her disease being kept under control. That's why it's so important she takes them. No brainer, right?
Only it's not that simple. The medications don't work that brilliantly. Plus they bring their own problems. Obviously, in the round they are *likely* to benefit your grandmother or her doctors wouldn't be prescribing them - I don't subscribe to the "doctors are evil they give you poisonous drugs and take all your money" conspiracy theory - but from your grandmother's point of view they're nasty and they don't help enough to be worth it. She does have a point, you know.
You might find it reassuring, and clarifying, to talk to her doctors, explain this difficulty the family's having, and ask the basic question: "what happens if she doesn't take these?" We all have to pick our battles, and you want the best information you can get about which are the genuinely vital ones.
Is she being seen by a Parkinson specialist? Are the doctors you've consulted specialists? That can be very important.
Has she given any indication why she refuses her medicines? For example, is it a swallowing problem? Is she worried she will choke? Is she very depressed and thinks it is just useless to try anything to help? Is she paranoid and fears she is being poisoned? Since her speech is impaired it may be very hard to get at the reasons -- and she may not understand them herself. But if you can get some clues that may help you and your mom deal with it.
Parkinson's often -- but not always -- includes dementia. Does Grandma have dementia?