I need advice. My Grandma (91) is determined to go get her nails done today.

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It's a lot harder then it seems. My Dad is the one who drives us everywhere, but he works graveyard (9-5) and it opens too late for him to be able to take her. It's a dangerous parking lot so I don't feel comfortable taking her myself by walking down there, or taking her on the city bus, and we don't have the pass to take the bus that picks you up at your house. I also don't have enough money for a taxi. I have 10$ to last me a week. We are getting pounded by 50+ mph winds, and I don't want either of us to be out in it. I'm already sick, and she's been sick. She can't understand why she can't go though. I've explained it a couple times to her, and she's just to stubborn to listen. Any advice?

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@jeannegibbs I love doing that kind of stuff. I'm an artist. She just doesn't trust me.



@AliBoBali Her hair dresser does her for 40$ a week, which my Dad pays for. It's gets expensive, and she's pretty much cut down to once a week just because it's too much for her. She lives off S.S. She shops so much she has no savings. She was spending 1k+ a month on QVC alone, until all of a sudden "we don't get QVC on t.v anymore, Grandma." *Wink, wink, she can't figure out 1234 Wink, Wink*
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KayKay, your grandmother must have some funds for herself if she's getting out to salon 3x a week. Can you take your grandmother out if she will pay for the taxi herself? Why would you be paying for your grandmother's wants when grandma has means to pay her own way? Is it off limits for you to ask that grandma pay for the taxi? You're already doing your part by being her companion/chaperone person, aren't you?
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That is sad, KayKay. One of the things the hospice volunteers did for my mom was to give her a manicure. And the nursing home had "spa days" about once a month where volunteer and staff did nail polishing. It really is a nice personal care to share with someone.

But I do understand your explanation about why you don't just do the nail care yourself. And that is what is sad, to me -- that you are willing and she is not.

With dementia I doubt she is going to accept/understand your very reasonable explanation. Dementia destroys reasoning powers. So keep refusing, keep the explanation short, and try distraction. "We can't go out today, Gram. It is very nasty and windy out there. You know, while we are stuck indoors, why don't we try organizing your jewelry box?" (Or let's have an indoor picnic, or make a pot of hot chocolate, or work on the jig saw puzzle we started yesterday, or any other distraction you can think of!)
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Thank you, and my Grandma is...the best way to describe her is she is one of those women you hear about. She is the one who has to have everything clean and perfect. Who has 10 pairs of white pants for to go for any occasion, 50 purses, and can still find an excuse to get another one. The type who goes to the salon 3 times a week to get her hair and nails done, and she won't let anyone except her hairdresser and nail girl touch them. She's relaxed about the hair, and I end up washing it myself because going there is beginning to become too much for her to do every week, but her nails are still taboo. I'm not even allowed to file them if one breaks.
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I purchased a kit that is a rechargeable-battery wand with tips/heads you can rotate that file, trim, buff, etc. It was $15 and I think I bought it on Amazon. It made doing my grandmother's nails quite easy and quick, which was good in my case because grandma didn't always want to sit still for a manicure, and she had thickened nails that needed to be filed down.

If yours will sit still for one, no reason you can't do it yourself, is there? The electronic kit does help. I use it for myself still, on occasion.
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Unless you're really hopeless at manicures (I am) I should have thought this would be a lovely thing you and your grandma can do together at home. Does she have terribly complicated extensions or acrylics or something?
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Absolutely agree with Barb don't go out. When you have the funds (if ever) buy some of the pretty stencils and hereafter do her nails at home. You may be able to find ideas and stencils on line, try Printerest and U tube.
I have just discovered printers and there are really fascinating ideas and patterns for everything you can think of on there. I am big into crafts and it really is a treasure trove.
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Barb's suggestion was exactly what I was going to say. It is a great one. Keep both of you in find something that will bee her busy.
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"No grandma. You can't go out today. Let me file and paint your nails and we'll see how tomorrow is."

She will keep asking and you just keep saying no.
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