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My grandmother has dementia and it has recently gotten worse. Her husband has been dead for 10 years. She has just started asking where he is with the kids and trying to call him to find him. Im not sure what the best thing is to do. Ive tried redirecting but she stays focused on it. Ive tried telling her they will be home soon in hopes that she would move on to something else but this causes her to get more worked up. Ive even told her he passed away and she gets upset like it just happened and she missed it. I cant keep telling her he died. It is to painful for me. What are my other options?

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My mother does the same thing. She is always wondering when her hubby is coming to get her (he's been gone for almost five months). This is something we hear constantly throughout the day and we just give her short answers (your ride should be here soon) or try mentioning something else (oh, I thought it was going to rain today but it sure looks nice out now). Some days she asks more than others but I'm just glad she remembers she had a husband at this point : )
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Bring out a photo album and let her talk about him and the kids she is missing. In her mind, she has lost the memory of losing him so it has not happened and she has no idea why he is not there, plus as you have noted can not remember "new" information from day to day. I would say to try to do what you can to make sure she does not get the idea that he left her or didn't love her, and the ethics of fibbing a little are up to you. E.g. "I guess he is still away/still can't get here, but here, lets look at this picture you have." "What would you like to do if you could get together again?" This is hard, but with Alzheimer dementia they really do lose more recent memories first, it has been compared to erasing the tapes, and it can't be helped much at all....sorry you are going through this!
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He's waiting for her somewhere else?????
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