After 3 months of trying to make living with my great-grandmother (93 with vascular dementia) work out, I'm throwing in the towel. It's been a miserable experience for everyone involved, even her - she hates where she is almost as much as we have hated being here, so a couple of weeks ago I asked her POA (my mother-in-law) to have her re-evaluated for her eligibility for a home. We did, and got the requisite paperwork to apply to some homes for a room. I was (am) very much convinced, based on her state of being, that she will be much better off in a *good* home than she is where she is now, so I was relieved, even though it means needing to move out of the home my husband and I have been renting to share with her.
This morning, I received the news that, instead of applying to homes, she's convinced her other son and daughter-in-law to take our place as caregivers and keep the house we've been renting. Gran is totally miserable here and will continue to be so if she is kept here. She was moved far away from her hometown and the easy access of friends and family to move in with us and she is constantly lonely because nobody visits her out here anymore. Her only 'friend' is a PSW and there are no resources in our little town that are relevant to her. She spends all day at home in her bedroom watching TV. I am certain she would be happier in a nice home back in her hometown than she is here, but my MIL does not understand/care about my insistence that it is not in her best interests to keep her here.
Since she's POA, I'm guessing I have absolutely no way to influence this decision in the least, right? I don't have the time/money/resources to make a legal affair of it, nor am I that willing to get into a serious altercation with my MIL, but I really don't feel that this is the right decision for her. I am much more aware of Gran's needs and desires at this point than her POA is, but my opinion on the matter keeps falling on deaf ears. I feel rather frustrated by the whole thing.