This is not my first post here but my 92 year old grandpa was moved from an ALF to a memory care due to his dementia/aggression getting so bad he threatened to harm himself, staff and another resident with a pocket knife and when the cops came he told them he wanted "suicide by police". After a few weeks of adjustment it seemed he was doing well in the new place and I was actually getting less calls.BOOM during an activity he went to move from his walker to a chair and didnt make it. The staff was able to catch him before he hit the ground but the next morning he complained so they sent him out to the hospital to get checked out. After a few days suddenly he is at my ring camera with no shoes or pants and threatening to break all the windows out of my house if I dont let him in. He went to a neighbors house when I didnt answer. I called the hospital and they stated, "He was alert and oriented so the doctor allowed him to sign out AMA and go home." WHAT??!!?? I called the police after the facility told me to report him as a missing person. The police came and saw all my documentation and had the memory care facility come get him. Literally my worst fear unlocked now. Since this horrible journey started I have feared that he would just show up at home. Clearly it can happen. The next morning the memory care called and stated that he had tied something around his neck and seemed out of it. Told them he had taken something. Unsure what since his meds are locked up (unless he got something while he was on his little journey home) He has now been baker acted for yet ANOTHER attempted suicide. My question is this... How do I keep this from happening? He DOES seem alert and oriented when in a controlled environment but he is unable to do any of his daily living tasks and continues to threaten me and everyone else. I am terrified and so is my daughter who he has threatened before. If you have seen any of my previous posts there is quite a history there and he constantly tells everyone I am trying to keep him locked up to 'steal his assetts' He has NO assets!
He has been on a Baker Act since that next morning and when I called to check on him tonight he seems to think he is going to be allowed to come home instead of back to his facility. That’s not happening. I did record the conversation in which he claims he never said bad things about me or my family and that the police doctors and staff are all liars. It just never ends.
I honestly cannot think of anything else. You are on a downward trajectory and it is a shame that in this country we are not allowed to make a dignified "final exit" when life is nothing to us but a torment and torture. That is clearly the case with your grandfather. He will surely end in a locked psychiatric facility of some sort. I cannot imagine a MC being able to control him without sufficient medication. Truly, one can hand one's self with a shoelace from a doorknob with proper instruction on it; we lost a patient in the ER of our hospital in exactly that manner. So Grand is in some serious danger here.
I am so sorry. This is truly a crucible. I hope when he passes you will only feel relief that his misery and torment are over.
You need to do a little research. Ask the MC if info was sent with Dad. If so, then they did their job. Ask if in that info did they tell the hospital that he had Dementia and was a flight risk. Was your info included. If yes, then call the discharge person and ask why with a diagnosis of Dementia did they allow him to live on his own. He should have been returned to the MC. They had your information, why weren't you called? If you are POA, you need to send them copies. You need to have put in his record that he cannot be released on his own. Really, I think its negligence to not have released him back to the MC thats his residence. After you find out what actually happened, then contact your State Ombudsman.
The facility is the problem. If you are not your Grandpa's PoA then this may be one reason why they didn't call you to accompany him to the ER. Or, the staff couldn't afford to lose a worker for hours (most likely reason) or are just poorly trained. I would come at the facility admins like a spider monkey on this one. They apparently don't have any protocols in place... it's unthinkable to send a MC resident to the ER by themselves.
systems to protect the elderly and their family can and do fail. This is alarming but at the same time helping to prepare any one of us, that something similar could happen so I thank you. I too pray and hope for medicine to sedate and civil authorities that understand how risky and dangerous he is above his supposed lucidity. My heart goes out to you.