Mom stayed the weekend at my sister's because of an ice storm.... she was incontinent, fell at least two times... then, brought the care home issue up with Me and my sister on the phone (conference call)... NOW, she says we didn't consult her about it... she doesn't remember. Now we have a room for her at a nice smaller facility, we can admit her on this next Wednesday.... what fresh new h*ll are we going to face when we take her there??? Any advice? We will take some personal effects that are familiar, my sister will take care of her little dog at her house.... and visit with her on weekends. What next??? I have a six hour drive up to help her, then clean out her apartment....

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I'm glad that you have made arrangements for her to get care at a facility. If she's not remembering, I'm not sure how much advance notice, I'd give. It could cause her to be anxious and worry. I told my cousin that her stay in the rehab would help her with her various medical problems and that I would keep her cat until she got out. Of course, she soon forgot about the cat.

I'd plan the arrival and settling in with the facility admissions director. They do this all the time and should be able to guide you. Stay positive and have comforting things to say lined up for various scenarios. On the way over to the AL, I told my LO that the staff was looking forward to meeting her, that they had heard so many nice things about her and that she was going to be a great asset to their facility. Even with the dementia, people want to be valued and appreciated.
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