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Actually, that's the situation my mother has right now. Except it's only room; the caregiver provides her own food but does not otherwise contribute to the household.

So far it's working extremely well, at least from my mother's point of view. She has someone there almost all the time (live-in person is retired) and she gets help with a lot of daily activities, like laundry and meals.

The person is a friend of mine from my mother's neighborhood who suddenly found herself in need of housing and is living on a small SS check. She has become very attached to my mother and vice versa. She is treated like a member of the family (included in family gatherings, etc.). She keeps in close communication with me on almost a daily basis. This has been going on for about 18 months so far.

My mother is a very vocal person. She would let me know if anything were not to her liking. Her worst complaints are that her helper is not available 24/7 (sleeping, visiting with a neighbor down the street, whatever). I tell my mother she needs to be grateful because nobody else would do all that for her for free (more or less).

My sister monitors my mother's finances regularly, so she would know if there were any issues (the live-in person doesn't have access to my mother's accounts, although I suppose she could snitch a $20 from the wallet if she were so inclined, but it hasn't happened).

Everyone seems to be happy with the situation including me, since I don't need to be at my mother's beck and call. So it can work with the right combination of people, at least for a period of time.
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MLE, nursing homes don't "take" a person's house. Medicare doesn't "take" a person's house. Medicaid, a state program that uses state and federal funds, will put a Lien on a person's home if they sign up for Medicaid and the person receives care that the state pays for. The home is an exempt asset for the person's lifetime, but when the person dies, the home has a lien on it (can't be sold or given to someone else without payment to the state for the services given to person). If a family member has been living with the person for at least 2 years before Medicaid nursing home is needed and provided care that kept the person out of nursing home, some states will allow the child of the person who got care to file for an exemption. However, the need for care has to be documented by a doctor IN ADVANCE of needing care and records kept until the person goes into nursing home. And once the person goes into nursing home, ALL THEIR INCOME goes to the nursing home, and there is not money left to pay mortgage, property taxes, utilities, repairs etc. So be careful if you have been promised a house in exchange for care living in the US because the paperwork to apply for Medicaid includes notice that any real property (that means house) will be subject to a lien. The Medicaid programs started recovery programs because so many people needed services and the state could easily go bankrupt. Being able to keep a house for family benefit and making states pay for the person's care without reimbursement would not be fair to those who paid costs in cash out of pocket. So it can be worth talking to an attorney who knows how Medicaid works in your state and how to make any plans for assets if person goes into nursing home.
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No. It smacks of desperation on the part of the caregiver, which is no basis for developing a good, professional relationship with your parent.

But would you like to say a little more about what the plan is, because maybe there's more to it than that?
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One more question, does your mother own her home. If so, if there is a time that she would have to be put in a nursing home would the nursing home be able to take her home. I have heard so many different answer. Thank you for your time and that answer.
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MLE1959, my first thought is how is that caregiver going to have any type of income. How would she pay for personal items, for her cellphone, her car and maintenance on the car, for her health insurance, for her clothing, food, etc.?

If this was a Golden Girls situation, but no rent is being paid by the tenant, thus each one is helping the other, that would work. It's security knowing there is another person in the house.  But I see from your profile this is your Dad, so I don't know if that would work.

Rules must be set, and the tenant/caregiver would need to have some days off if she is in constant caregiver mode. I see from your profile that your Dad has mobility issues, the tenant/caregiver would need to be able to break a fall or be able to pick Dad up if he did fall.

Do a Lease, even though no payments are being made. You don't want a situation where the tenant/caregiver refuses to leave at the end of her Lease if her services are no longer needed. I would get an Elder Law Attorney to draw up the Lease and advise of you any situations.

Don't forget, check with Dad's homeowner's insurance carrier to see if there is any extra liability insurance that is needed. This is tricky, as the tenant/caregiver is not a paid employee.
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In answer to MLE, yes my mother owns her house. However, I am the co-owner on the deed, with right of survivorship. I don't know if Medicaid can place a lien on the house if my mother ends up needing Medicaid. I would like to own the home outright (subject to the mortgage, of course) after my mother's death, but it would not affect my decision about applying for Medicaid if she needs it. I agree with Guestshipadmin about the rules regarding a family member living in the home for 2 years and delaying the need for nursing home admission for the parent. However, I would not live with my mother for 2 years in order to insure keeping the house. That's my choice; yours may be different.
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Guest is correct. In my situation I had to show the house was up for sale. Mom is in LT and from the day she entered, I was no longer to take money from her account to pay taxes, insurance or utilities. My disabled nephew had been living with her so he and my grandson, who has moved in, have been paying the utilities. The taxes aren't being paid. There was some question about the boys living there and not paying rent but the Medicaid rep we had overlooked that. I am looking for a place for nephew. Once that happens, I will be turning the utilities off. I am not legally responsible for the upkeep of Moms house. I will eventually lose it because even if its sold, there will be a tax lean and a Medicaid lean. If u plan on paying these bills hoping to recoup in selling it, I was told I would need to keep emaculate records and even then there is no guarentee I will get it back. Medicaid lean comes first. So, I have chosen to let the house go.
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All this information is helpful. It makes me feel better that sadviseo many people understand. Thank all of you for the advise.
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