What would be a good color of bed sheets for my Mom (90) who has dementia?

jennagibbs: thank you, that was my intent fully. we are all here to support, offer suggestions but also to be realistic for what the future "might" hold. here and now is best, but be prepared too. thanks again.......

Waterproof bedpads..I buy mine at Amazon (since we don't have Walmart) at 3 for $25.00 + shipping, 29"x35". I used to order it at a catalog (Dr.Leonard??) but they changed the quality in which the plastic backing soooo easily tears. So far BHMedwear is still great quality.

Bookworm. Washable chucks are like the throw away ones you would use on the bed but are washable. I found the disposable ones would move too easily and then the sheets were wet. The washable ones have one side with a white quilted material and the other (mine are green) was a waterproof material. More comfortable to lay on because they were not plastic. I think you can buy them at Walmart but just google washable chucks and you will find many choices.

brandywine1949, same here, I wouldn't like a bold pattern... example stripes make me seasick... I cannot even walk into a room that has striped wallpaper, I would quickly lose my balance. I blame it in part on having eye astigmatism.

I love ADCaregivers's comment about using contrasting colors to help make objects stand out and be recognizable. In this case, it probably applies to the outer bed covers as well as the sheets. I say for sheets texture might be the most important factor, and for the top blanket or spread a color that contrasts with the room color may be most important. It doesn't help if the sheets are bright magenta if they are covered by a beige spread when the loved one walks into the room.

I love bookworm54's sensitivity in even thinking about this question. There is good stuff to think about in this thread.

One can't read tone of voice in a posting, or body language, and sometimes answers get misconstrued.

I'd just like to state that I found nothing in wolflover451's first post at all offensive or inappropriate. To me the message was "Don't overthink this. Get something she likes now." Is she (he?) correct that the loved one won't care later? Maybe. That is her experience and she is entitled to express it. It wasn't correct for my husband, who was aware of his surroundings up to his dying day. But I would still echo the basic message ... Choose for today. The future is uncertain.

Please let's not snipe at each other.We are all caregivers who are doing our best. Sometimes our words may strike a dissonant chord with certain readers. Unless that is clearly the intention, let's cut each other some slack.

Speaking of sheets, on a bariatric twin all electric bed, rather than buy whole new sheets, I used two queen size, turned the wrong wayy and folded lengthwise...works perfect and I can "hide" the chucks, so someone isnt fussing at me insisting that they are not needed....

Christine I bought a hospital style mattress it s welded at the seams and will withstand steaming, disinfecting etc. Its been a godsend and Im not sure what it is made of but mum doesn't sweat either which is seriously good news

Ferris, unless wolflover has a crystal ball we don't know about, there's no way anyone can know what will or will not happen in a stranger's future. To present a negative possibility, even probability, as if it were a fact, is counterproductive, and adds no value. Maybe I *will need a support group one day, maybe I won't, maybe I'll get hit by a bus tomorrow, or maybe my mom will have a peaceful beautiful death from another cause before certain Alzheimer's symptoms become an issue...so what? The point is, we're here to support each other, not torment each other with reminders of a possible worse case scenario. And no, people do not have the right to express anything they want when the wording and the placement of that expression hurts a fellow caregiver.

Wolflover, I wish you could see how comments like the one you made are discouraging to people who are having it hard enough, and looking to this forum for encouragement and help, not doom and gloom. (We get enough of that in real life.) Please don't feel attacked by what I'm saying, just be aware.

Since there are a number of comments about a wet bed, I'll throw in my 2 cents on that. This may be obvious, but if bladder control is an issue, getting a waterproof mattress cover is a lifesaver. Good luck all.

I think that if you're mother is still able to make choices (not decisions note) then you let her choose the sheets she wants. HOWEVER if you have a LO who hallucinates (often found with some dementias) then a print can be a nightmare for some of them because they 'see' things in the print. Sometimes a very plain fabric suits best especially in those conditions.

For me the issue isn't the colour of the fabric but the fabric itself. Cotton can be boiled if it is soiled but some polyester (read man made there because it might not be polyester!) fibres seem to retain the smell of urine and you can't darned well boil them or bleach them. So despite some previous comments and because Mum actually says she prefers them we have crisp white egyptian cotton sheets that crease beyond belief need ironing just before they get dry but they look fabulous and no odours. We have a dark wood floor (that will soon be a rubber, wood look floor. so there is a contrast but as for colour white all the way here - simply because of the hygiene of them and because mum likes the feel of them and because they look fabulous but I suspect i am quite old fashioned here because I iron everything (yep even knickers and socks and tea towels!)

By the way, my mother needed a hospital bed shortly after my husband died, and I passed the sheets on to her. She, too, loved the bold flannel plaid best.

We slept together in our bed and used our same old sheets for most of my husband's journey with Lewy Body Dementia. He suddenly lost his depth perception and spatial orientation and couldn't figure out how to place himself in bed. His feet would stick way past the footer or his head would be on the headboard. I stood next to the bed, put my hand on it, and said "sit on my hand, dear." I swore I going to sew a big x where his butt goes, but that particular problem gradually went away.

When he got a hospital bed, I got a set of cotton knit sheets (t-shirt knit) that was soft and comfortable. But what he liked best was the big bold plaid flannel sheets I got at Target. The size of a home hospital bed is x-long twin, but the mattress is generally so thin compared to modern beds that a regular twin typically works. He was not incontinent and generally did not have accidents so two sets were enough. But he did drool, and we sure went through pillowcases!

I agree with Pam -- texture can be very important. My husband liked soft and cuddly better than smooth.

Dad doesn't have any preference about the color of the bedsheets. I made the mistake of buying lots of plain dark colors. Very hard to see if he made a mess on himself and the bedding - until it's time to change his Depend. I also made the mistake of using the colorful tiny flower bedsheets (leftovers when mom was alive). He kept trying to kill the bugs crawling on his bed. It was the tiny flowers he was picking at. That bedsheet is now at the bottom pile - to be used as emergency if we ran out of clean sheets. So, I guess it really depends on what cognitive stage your mom is and her current likes. It would be fun to shop and guess what you chose hits the mark!

FYI, my younger sister bought dad this crazy 'modern art ' design with white background bedsheet. Oh, my, just the white color and dramatic design will swallow bedridden dad to a pale sickly person. I haven't opened the package yet.

I am 63. Color is not as important to me as the feel of the sheets. I like a good cotton percale that is 200 thread count or better. Same with my pillows, they have to be soft down filled, and the pillowcase a smooth fine cotton. I like a puffy quilt and a microfleece throw on top of it. Warm and fuzzy.

Thank you, Rosebush. What are "washable chucks" ?

On a different bed subject, I used the washable chucks and were well worth it. Very rarely did I have a wet bed and mom slept a good 12 hrs. I had more accident from sitting her on the side of the bed to transfer to well chair. At this point the depends would squish out. I then made sure I moved mom and the pad when getting out of bed. A lot easier to wash the pads each day then redoing the bed and washing the sheets. From my experience, I think women appreciate pretty sheets, men could sleep on a bare mattress!

My senior is more fussy about fabric texture and the location of the tag more so than color. He likes very soft, breatheable cotton, high thread count. Tags must be easy to reach and feel with the hands. Sheet CANNOT be tucked in....I put light color contact paper around the edges of the bed so its easier to see the contast. Seems to work for our situation.

The reason I suggested white was really about fading from the dyes used. I am well aware of the disease process of dementia dealing with my own husband's case of 12 yrs., working with hundreds of patients in my nursing profession, and am currently a research subject (one of 2,000) at Mayo who have studied me for 12 years and provide me with the latest research. So ADCaregivers might want to curtail her comments until she knows all the facts. Dogs don't like prints on their beds either. They are always trying to scratch at them.

It might be helpful to let her help pick them out, but keep in mind that decision might change by the time you get home. I suggest you stay away from plain white because that could seem to much "hospital". Practically speaking, if she is wearing depends... you can put 2 on at night. Make sure there are 2 "chucks" UNDER the sheet & 2 (in the shape of a +) on top and you might not have as many wets sheets, so you will only need 2-3 sets. I like have more fitted sheets in a muted color, that way only the bottom sheet needs to be changed & you can have the " selected" top sheet go with any bottom sheet. Buy separates instead of sets.

Dad loves the soft fleece sheets I got him last winter so much, he wants to sleep on them all year. I had to buy him another set. One set is beige and the other is pastel green because that was all they had left.

ferris-1 I suggest you learn about the importance of color and contrast in working with those who have Alzheimer's or other forms of dementia. White is the least appropriate color to suggest. If you are suggesting that dyes make a difference to the rate of progression of dementia, then you are way off the mark. FYI Alzheimer starts 10-15 years before it manifests in symptoms. By the time you get to the stage she mentions, the amount of chemicals in the environment matter very little in the larger scheme of what is going on with her mother. There were several spot on suggestions in the post about what type of sheets to buy. I am grateful to the commenters who told me about their experience with tiny prints.

Christine73 - the comment made was actually true, and perhaps you might need a support group to help deal with an eventual reality. This disease takes its toll on every caregiver, and "wolflover" has every right to express her feelings. I wish you well for the future events.

My husband hallucinated, and I had to cover furniture that was covered in a printed fabric or flowery bedspreads with a white sheet. That seemed to help.

When my grandmother was in a NH with dementia and other medical issues, mom bought flowered pillow cases for her. She was delighted and I can still picture her surrounded by colorful flowers.

My mom, now 91, still at home currently, has bright colored sheets - even some animal prints (like zebra). I need to be careful with the animal ones because she has times of dizziness when she can't stand the stripes.

I have several complete sets (including extra pillow cases) That way the aides can change them anytime she wants. She has a hospital bed now - requires Twin XL so I usually buy extra sets when the kids go back to college. Do not buy microfiber as they pill and that drives mom crazy.

I like the idea of the contrasting colors mentioned above as visually it does make it easy for low vision folks to find bed in low light.

It's so funny one of you mentioned that people with dementia or Alzheimer's will often choose colors they would have never used as a normal adult... Which probably explains why my family still owns a sky blue Lexus. Beautiful, expensive car... My dad let my Alzheimer's addled mother pick the color and we call it the blue turtle. Daddy's 87 and keeps crashing into things... So the blue turtle will probably with us for a while longer as beat up as it is... My husband and I always laughed so hard about the day the Lexus dealership sold that ugly blue car. I'm sure somebody got a ham or something out of that sale. Anyway if mom loved it I have to love it on some level as well.

I would say something bright and colorful.

Familiarity is generally the key thing, so I'd say whatever style she's stuck to over the years. I also wonder why you're needing to get new ones - is it because she's moving to your house and you want to provide nice bed linen for her, or because hers are all worn out, or because the ones she's got aren't suitable now for some reason? What's the problem, exactly?

I would say plain sheets, not with much pattern in it. I only speak for myself. It makes me anxious with too much pattern. On my own bed, I like a patternless beige color.