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My son's father who is 74 had his first stroke last July 2016. While in the hospital, he felt as if they weren't doing anything to help him so he had our son pick him up and he left w/ his walker. he continued to get better. In August 2016, he had a 2nd stroke. It was much worse. Was back and forth from the hospital to rehab several times. The only way the Dr would send him home is if he had 24/7 home health care at $14k per month out of pocket. who can afford that? He cut it back to 3 days a week. Meanwhile he discovered that he has prostate cancer. Monday Feb 13 2017, he had a care service taking him for radiation. While in route, he had a 3rd stroke. Currently still in ICU. Cant move any part of his right side. Nurses indicate that he'll not go home. If he goes to rehab, Medicare plus supplement will pay. If he goes to a nursing home, we've been told that they will make him sell his house and use every cent he's made his entire life before Medicare will kick in? He is terrified at the thought. Does anyone know if this is true? I would appreciate any advice. Thank you in advance.

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By the way. Who explained the Medicaid process to him in those terms? - "...make him sell his house and use every cent he's made his entire life before Medicare will kick in..."

Is this his own interpretation of what a hospital social worker said to him, or has he been listening to embittered gossip? Either way, a more measured explanation would help to reduce his stress levels.
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This is your ex-husband, is it? Someone you are very firmly separated from? (I'm hoping to establish that you yourself have no financial obligations towards him, as a start).

He's had three strokes in six months, give or take. He's now in ICU. I don't want to be cruel, but. How do I put this? Long term care may not be an issue. I wonder if his being terrified about how he's going to pay is a way of shutting out his terror of dying.

Perhaps try to concentrate his mind on the more immediate concerns, such as getting out of ICU in one piece, and working towards recovery, and what he would prefer in terms of medical decisions that may need to be made. How is your son coping with his father's illness?
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I'm going to assume that as he is over 65, he has Medicare. Medicare will pay for rehab after a qualifying hospitalization, but it does NOT cover long term care.

If he needs long term care, it is paid for by Long Term Care Insurance, or by private funds (which it sounds like he has), or one is impoverished, by Medicaid, if one qualifies.

In most states, Medicaid qualification for a single person is that they have no more than $2000 in countable assets (in most states, a home and a car are "exempt" assets and income under some specific amount, which varies by state.

He would do well to consult with a certified Eldercare attorney in his state who is familiar with Medicaid qualification.
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