How would I go about being paid as Mom's care provider,and not by her?

That would work only if her stroke has not rendered her incompetent or incompacitated from being able to sign a written contract with you. This is needed in case she ever has to apply for medicaid. They're are going to want to know why you were getting money from your mother.

Majority of grown children do not get paid for caring for their parent, unless the parent is financially able to pay from their own pocket. If a parent can afford to pay you, the parent might as well hire a certified trained caregiver… thus allowing you to keep a full-time job so that you can add to your own retirement.

If your parent qualifies for Medicaid, the State might allow a trained Caregiver from an Agency to come in to help a couple hours a day. Check to see if your State has “Cash and Counseling” program. Note that each State has their own rules, regulations, and programs. Some have waiting lists.

Also, check with your local Council on Aging to see what programs they offer, such as an Aide coming to the house.https://www.agingcare.com/local/Area-Agency-on-Aging

Here is one thing to think about if one is trying to decide whether to quit work to care for an aging parent.... on average if a working person quits work he/she will lose over the years between $285,000 and $325,000 which includes loss of salary, plus net worth loss of the health insurance, loss of money being put into social security/ Medicare, loss of other benefits such as matching 401(k), profit sharing, etc. [source: Reuters 5/30/12]


I believe there are some threads and or articles here on that subject.


The money provided by a state is not a living wage by any stretch of the imagination. People who quit their jobs, sell their homes, and move in with their parents loose an incredible amount of income, building up of their own retirement, cripple themselves getting back into the working world, etc.

I hope this information helps!