It will be 9 days this afternoon Nov 16, since my 84 year old long time physically handicapped mom fell. The 5 days of Tramadol did not work. She is in terrible pain and lying in bed everyday. I get her in the wheelchair by sheer will between us to change her underwear and wash the wet sheets.
What we need is what we got in 2009 after the car accident, and again in 2012 after she broke her leg. We need the Visiting Nurses of NJ to come here, assess the situation, and get us set up with occupational therapist so we properly get her out of bed everyday, and do everything the correct way that wont injure her, and a physical therapist so my mom can start the process of getting better everyday.
Mom pays a lot of money for Medicare insurance and AARP health insurance as the supplemental, as she always had, that paid for the visiting nurses in the past.
Somewhere there is a glitch in the system. The ER sent her home with no meds and no plan of action.
The primary care and orthopedic surgeon doctors simply say she will recover, but give us no plan of action.
We need a plan, we need a routine, and we need to do it properly. Is all this too much to ask for in 2022?
We need to get her out of the depression, we need to get her feeling better so she eats more everyday, we need to get her moving so her previously damaged legs, before this fall 9 days ago, do not freeze up for good.
Is all this too much to ask for in 2022? It has been 9 days.
I have very little power, none actually, over my mom. Everything is her call. She makes calls and tries to get help everyday.
I can make suggestions, get her in the wheel chair, walk her to the bathroom, change her underwear, wash all the layers of sheets and towels on the bed, bring her any food she wants, which is hardly any now, i can set up her table with phones, and i give her Tylenol and Advil, and Xanax, and I can take care of the house as I have been for 14 years, with her guidance.
What I can't do is get her medical help. I do not have the legal right to call any doctor or medical group. I can't help her fix what appears to be an un-fix-able glitch in the system.
She never did anything in her life to deserve to be shunned by doctors.
She has been the perfect person her entire life.
I find it beyond ridiculous that she expects you to carry all the responsibility without the authority to speak openly with her doctors.
Has anything we have said to your previous posts been helpful.
This may be something that only the medical people you are dealing with person on person and face to face can help with. I don't think our input has helped you so far.
I am certain you must be desperate and frustrated and I am so sorry for it.
You've gotten quite a bit of good advice on your past few posts, yet none of it has been taken. It's fine to vent, but much better to take action.
Good luck to you and mom.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/begging-for-help-in-nj-any-advice-478175.htm
Nothing is going to happen otherwise, the glitch will keep glitching.
Were you able to get homecare services set up?
I find those "post ER" calls to be quite useful if my problem hasn't resolved. I would have used that opportunity to say I was still in terrible pain, what should I do?
Hospitals have a financial interest in not having patients re-admitted or return. It's bad for their bottom line. Take advantage of that fact.
I'm glad to hear mom is feeling a bit better.
I've been thinking about your mom!! I don't think the VNA can make the appropriate referrals for you and as Barb mentioned unless the root cause of her pain is determined correctly all the other services will be for naught. The vna won't come unless ordered by the pcp if I am correct. And they seem to have already moved on and not even ordered home services for her for an evaluation, and may have not safely discharged her home!
Our VNA nurse took one look at my mom when she was first discharged home after surgery and immediately said we had to get her back to the hospital. He called the surgeon and said he was calling 911 which he did. Left to her own devices she would refuse to go like we begged her to, or not be in any position to push forcefully enough to her pcp and surgeon.
I really think you've got to take her back to the ER, or get the vna (you don't have these services yet is my understanding tho??? ) to insist she go back to the ER. They (vna) don't have as much power as you think with pcps and surgeons in swaying their opinions, they have already pronounced their opinion and will be hard pressed to change and you are now stuck. But at least in my situation the vna used their judgement to know the discharge was too soon and sent her back to the ER, maybe a different one I wish with my full heart I had taken my mom back to a different ER!
Then when you are there get her re-evaluated with all the advice folks chimed in with on another thread i.e. do not leave until you are satisfied with the plan. It's sucks to "start over" but I really think you have to. Otherwise nothing is going to happen.
Apologies if I misunderstood any of the situation and this is not any criticism at all just what my limited experience was.
For a younger healthy person , they can spend a month in bed and be fine afterwards.
A 84 year old with severe handicapped legs already from a car accident 14 years ago cannot afford to do that.
We need to get the legs moving or we are done.
We know where the pain is and what is causing it from the fall. She says she can't walk because of the pain. The tramadol 5 day supply did not help.
Listen, we need encouragement and forcefulness of the visiting nurse, occupational therapist, and physical therapist, JUST LIKE WE GOT IN 2009 AND 2012.
First get her out of this pain for a couple days, and get her walking.
And help me know how to get her up and do all the things i need to do 24/7 to make sure she is not hurt by getting up and all those things a person might do throughout the day.
How your mom has been treated is how my fil was after one of his falls initially diagnosed as muscle strains and sprains. He got no pain relief for that nor did the hospital send pt or ot.
He became a temporary two person assist to try to get him out of bed. He fell again anyway and was finally diagnosed with hairline fractures, which then got him 14 days worth of Vicodin plus some pt and ot.
Youve seen multiple practitioners who won’t do for your mom what you think is the solution.
Doctors cant expect a 84 year old handicapped woman to lay i urine and atrophy handicapped legs, until she will never walk again.
WHAT IS GOING ON IS SICK.