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To start, I have given a bag FULL of individually-wrapped twin packs of walkers shortbread to every shift, with a card that calls out each staff member by name.


But in addition to that...there are 3 aides at my mom's nursing home who treated her well, and helped her in a tangible way. What are your thoughts on giving them $25 each in a Christmas card with an handwritten thank you for what I appreciated that they did? I'm struggling with this because $25 seems like very little money for what they have done, and I don't want them thinking that's all I think their hard work was worth. On the other hand $50 would look like I'm trying to buy them, or make them feel beholden to me. I don't want anyone feeling uncomfortable. They know I have a private aide who comes 9 hours a week, so they probably assume I "have money."


I'm there enough to know who's doing what so I don't think there's any danger of skipping anyone, and all 3 of these women will continue to be my mother's regular caregivers, while on other shifts, they rotate.


I want to acknowledge them, but I don't want them telling their co-workers because I don't want someone else, who may have charge of my mom in the future, feeling slighted and adjusting the care of my mother accordingly. Am I being silly?


I feel silly because I recently, very definitively answered a similar question on someone else's post. Their situation was different, though, because they were talking in-home care. "Watch your back" nursing homes always add an extra dimension of complication. Thanks in advance.

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When my mom was in rehab I always brought treats for the nurses station and I would keep gift cards to Starbucks or the local sandwich places in my purse - I tried to greet everyone by name and slipped them out to anyone who helped my mom even those who weren't very friendly - sometimes I noticed a positive change in their attitude
That said, I wouldn't put money in a card - just slip them a $20 and send a card to the head of nursing letting her know what a good job these three are doing - does the nursing home have an employee of the month or some other acknowledgment ?
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I imagine they could get in trouble if you gave them such a gift. Cookies are OK, anything over $5 likely needs to be reported and accepting may result in disciplinary action if anyone found out. Where my sis works an anal Director of Care would even make staff throw out the cookies/treats.... like that made any sense :(
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Check with the facility, there may be a no gift policy..I know the facility where I worked we were not allowed to accept gifts of any kind.
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Gifting three and ignoring the others can create some resentment that you really don't want to have aimed at anyone. The facility may have an employee's emergency fund that you can contribute to or a Christmas fund.
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