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My mom is 86 with dementia. I had been told that giving her a baby doll may help to giver her a sense of purpose and fill her day. Mom always loved babies so it seemed to make sense. So I got mom a doll. My life has grown exponentially harder since the addition of the "baby". Even though I have provided her with safe places to put her baby, mom will not leave the baby alone. This translates to her constantly calling me into the room to babysit. Mom lives with me and I work from home. Life is a constant struggle to get any work done while caring for ma. Now that I have an "infant" to care for - life is even more of a struggle. She loves her baby - obviously I can not take it away from her now that she has it. Any suggestions?

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The nursing home had a doll and stuffed animals for my mom n law but they also gave her clean towels for her to fold up like she was doing laundry and she say how she knows that after she folds them that they mess it up and give it back to her n she would shake her fist at them but she would fold em again anyways
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If your mom has lost short-term memory, you could take the doll, 'baby-sit' for 5-10 minutes, take it back and tell Mom that the baby needs her. Worth a try! Have you tried giving her a few changes of doll clothes to give her something to do that will give it some variety? Some people don't want variety, some do. Can you suggest that Mom sing lullabies (or anything, for that matter) to the doll?
Often songs from childhood are available in long-term memory.
!
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It's true. I gave my MIL a toy kitty cat. It was full size, sat in her lap, had batteries and when she petted it it would purr and turn its head toward her. My BIL had to keep running over to her house to put batteries in it, but didn't complain. When she died the next year he asked me if I would feel wierd about it if we put it in the casket with her since she loved it so. I thought it was a good idea. Seeing it would only have prolonged our feelings of loss. My mom has a Yorkie dog who is about 5 years old, and she won't leave her home alone except to go down for meals at her retirement home. If I suggest we can take her with us to the store, weather permitting, she then says " someone might break in and steal her". That may be true but she needs to get out of her room, and out of the home.
There always seems to be SOMETHING they need control over. Guess this is my moms.
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I work in a memory care and one of my residents LOVE babydolls!! We let her have it all day and she takes care of it, walks it in her walker, and even tries to feed it( gotta keep the mouth clean). If you ask her what it's name is, she says a different time each time! Would recommend getting one.
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Maybe put up a real baby gate across the doorway to whatever room you work in, and say no babies can come to work, and that you can't do babysitting at same time you are at work. Does your mom realize you are working? I also work from home, no regular hours, just endless work, and weave it together with caring for my mom. It's a wonderful thing for your mom to have this baby.
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Thanks for the baby sling suggestion littletonway! That is a good idea - I will look for one or something similar I can rig up to serve the same purpose :)
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Sorry that I cannot give you any advice. The advice about the baby sleeping a lot is good. If I gave my mother a doll or a toy dog, she would throw it across the room and tell me it was crazy for me to give her a toy or a doll. Then I would get a snotty email from sister telling me off for such a stupid stunt. When I worked in the NH, a lot of the residents had dolls.
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My mom is 88 she was rehabbing recently from a fall and a girl that was in there gave her a pathwork bear which she loves so you dont always have to give them a doll. Its the company factor that the Item gives them not the type.
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It does work and has a calming effect. My mom likes to carry around a stuffed toy dog that she had from childhood. We also have 2 small dogs that she just loves and they help her a lot.
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Sorry I can't give any helpful advice. What little knowledge I have is from the Assisted Living Dementia unit my husband was in. One woman had a doll, carried it with her all the time, she was a very quiet woman who took 'good care' of her baby. Another woman had a large purse that she carried all the time, holding the strap in her hand or slung over her shoulder. She was a very happy sweet person. These items seemed to have a calming effect on the ladies, I feel.
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Tell you mom that it is nap time for her and her 'baby'. The baby needs a lot of sleep. So when she put the baby to bed and she takes a nap, maybe you can get some work done. Good luck.
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For a number of years while my mother was in a care center because of the extreme personal circumstances of her care, I observed a resident who was over one hundred years old go from anxiety and screaming in her wheel chair in the hall or her room daily. Then one of the main nurses decided to present her with a doll. From then on she would cuddle and wrap the doll in a blanket, kiss it's little head, and was content. No more screaming, and hollering help me, etc. To me that was a blessing in disguise, for not only did it make her feel needed and secure in some unknown fashion, but it made others around her breath a sigh of relief. She was happier now. So if one has to help with keeping the doll assessable for it's keeper, that might be a small sacrifice of time, compared to living without the baby doll. Hang in there. Best wishes for you and yours. here is a hug for you. joylee
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How about a baby sling? Then Mom can carry it all the time. Mother had a neighbor when she was last in rehab that had a stuffed bear. It was a real comfort to her and helped calm her when she got anxious.
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When my mom was going through a very anxious and clingy phase I bought here a teddy bear in the desperate hope that it would distract her and give her something else to focus on. My mom has no short term memory but her mind is pretty good otherwise and I figured she would probably reject it, but "Buddy" is her constant bedtime companion now. It doesn't hurt to try.
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LoLoKoKo22 that is the most precious thing ever. I know the puppy was real to her. I buried my dad with a Phillie's hat, but he did not have dementia. What a dilemma this poor Trying To Cope has now. I can't imagine.
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My mom lived in dementia care for a couple years. We bought her a little white stuffed dog that looked exactly like her beloved Maltese dog Chessie. Mom loved it! She never went anywhere without Chessie after that and seemed very comforted holding the toy. Towards the end, I'm not sure she knew it was not the real Chessie. She died holding the fluffy white dog in her arms and we sent it with her to the funeral home so she could hold Chessie forever.
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Thank you Picasso :)
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I know that my Grandma was given a doll. She too loved babies and had 9 of her own. The baby went every where she did. If it was not with her she was looking for it and or asking about it. It was a bit older doll so there wasn't in diapers. I will ask my aunt about that for you.
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