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What my Dad did was have my mother as his Power of Attorney with me as secondary should my Mom feel she was unable to represent him.

Even though my parents were in their mid-to-late 90's, both having trouble seeing and hearing, it made Mom feel important that she was primary POA. Nine times out of 10, she had me make the decision for my Dad. In my case it worked out perfectly.

Do you think there might be an issue with your wife and your son if they were both on the Power of Attorney? Everyone has to work as a team in your best interest. Are their ideas similar? Or would there be a battle?

You could ask your Attorney to be your Power of Attorney, if your Attorney would agree, the fees for his/her time would be paid by the Estate.
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"My son", Are there other children, hers, mine, ours?
Are they living with you?
You and your wife are aging together, all the planning in the world (in my opinion) won't protect you from exploitation if you don't choose someone trustworthy, who has the best interests of both you and your wife in mind.
A son (without POA) could move in, take control, you are hospitalized, and he moves her out. The real POA is never activated because "He's got this".
Or, the same could happen if son has POA. Just an example here. The details have been changed to protect the guilty, but it happens.

The true job of a POA is to carry out your instructions, not take over.
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Justdirt,
Sorry you are feeling like 'justdirt', or maybe someone is treating you this way?
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If you want your wife to take care of things if you should become incapacitated, giver her the POA. If you want your son to do it, give it to him. You can always appoint your wife as POA and then list your son as a secondary should she become unable or unwilling to handle your affairs.
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I'd discuss the pros and cons of appointing a son over a wife for your POA. There are many things to consider. I'd go over them with the attorney in making your decision. He an answer questions about having alternates, etc.
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