I give Mom a mild laxative tea, which works, but she forgets that she went. What do I do?


My mom has this fixation she is constipated. I even write it on the calander "mom toilet" and write it on a note pad and show her and she agrees. But a few hours later says she hasn't had a bowel movement. She'll say I'm arguing with her. It happened yesterday morning again, she went and a few hours later says she hasn't. Anything else she forgets I remind her and she accepts it and brings it back to mind. But not this! She totaly blocks it out. What do I do?

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Thank you for your help. However, when she has a bowel movement she even shows me and is over joyed. But in an hour she forgets she showed me and wants me to give her something to have bowel movement. She gets herself so worked up and argumentative and brings anxiety attack upon herself. What should I do?
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My mother does this. She poops just fine, but doesn't think she's gone in days. She won't believe me if I tell her that she doesn't need a laxative. She becomes very angry if I don't give her what she wants. She yells and slams things in my room. I have to tell her to leave my room until she finally leave. I have not found a smooth way to handle it. I know how you are feeling, WillyB. Not remembering that they pooped is something that happens to a lot of people with dementia. No matter how much you tell them the truth, they won't believe it.

A couple of months ago I told my mother that I didn't have any laxatives and she would have to handle it herself. There was anger and the next day she was telling me to go to the store -- like that was her way of handling it. She takes Miralax every day, but she wants something stronger too often.
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Situation is getting worse. However, thanks for your reply
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Ask her what she would like to make her feel better. If she demands more powerful laxatives, maybe you could get some completely inert placebos from your pharmacist (I'd say give her peppermints, but you'd have to watch the sugar if she's doing this a lot) and give her a one of those with a glass of water, very solemnly.

Also, check that she isn't genuinely uncomfortable in the tummy. Is she getting wind or bloating, anything like that? If so, it might not hurt to ask the doctor for a quick abdominal exam.

Although, sigh, I'm afraid she'd probably forget that had been done, too...

But sympathy and creative approaches to suggesting she gives her laxatives a little more time to work, perhaps? I'd certainly give up on trying to convince her that all is well - just keep the calendar for your own peace of mind. Sorry you're having to deal with this, hugs.
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