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They say we wiil get it back to the nursing home she is going to.

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Is this Medicaid & mom entering NH as "Medicaid Pending"?
If so, often the NH will require at least 1 month of private pay to the NH while they are undergoing the whole Medicaid application. If & when they finally qualify for Medicaid and the NH is paid retroactively by the state, then $ 4,500 is refunded less any charges that Medicaid did not cover.

Did the NH tell you about the co-pay? If not you need to realize that they also have to each month pay their "SOC" (share of cost) to the NH just as if they were already on Medicaid. So if mom gets $ 800 in SS & 1K in retirement, mom's income is $ 1,800 a mo. & say state has a personal needs allowance of $ 60 mo, then every mo NH must be paid $ 1,740.00 of mom's income under Medicaid SOC requirements. If mom has outstanding expenses - insurance policy payments, credit cards, house costs, etc - then either those do not get paid or family pays those bills for mom for the rest of mom's life if you want to keep them. If there is a house that is going to be sold, you can ask Medicaid for a diversion of some of the SOC to pay for minimal costs (like utilities & yard work) on the house if it is under contract with a Realtor for a limited period of time (no for-sale-by owner). Often the SOC comes as total surprise by family who find themselves dealing with how to handle their parents debts, etc when they go into a NH on Medicaid.
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Hi there, we had to pay 500.00 to hold the room and write the contract, then upon her moving in, she had an 1,800 (minus the 500.00) move in fee, plus 3,385 (her first months rent). She moved in, in the middle of the month, so her next month was prorated (half of the 3,385). The 3,385 is her actual monthly bill...plus extras. She wears a wig, so there is no beauty shop. Her only extras are the podiatrist, and she seems to think she is at the Hilton and continues to order room service (which I haven't complained about too much, she is in a lot of pain). That 4,500 is probably the "one time" move in fee, plus a certain amount of days.
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I had to do same however it would be applied to her care once you was admitted as a resident. It was refundable within 30 days if she didn't go in for whatever reason. I think past 30 days, there was a $1000 non refundable portion unless they could place someone else in her spot and they have waiting lists so we weren't worried about getting the money back. My mom ended up not going, so they returned our deposit check.

This is not unusual.
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We put down $6K to hold the room and lock in the rate. These facilities are swamped with calls from people who say "let me know when a room is available" but then back out when one is. It's like booking a cruise; no deposit, no booking. They need to know you are serious.
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Is it a deposit to hold her room?

Is your mom not living there yet?
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