I'm a VNA nurse. I have a patient who's wife has been diagnosed with dementia. She is "clear enough" to state she does ADLs and IADLs, but the husband and other family state she does not.
This is causing great stress to the husband (my patient) because he feels he cannot care for her (clean, cook, laundry, shop) but she refuses to have paid help (which they can afford). She also refuses to have their children help (which, they cannot do on a daily basis anyway).
Not only is she not aware that she is faltering, she is adament against any of their suggestions that she has any problems. She insists that she cooks and cleans and does rountine personal hygeine every day, even though she doesn't.
I"ve given this patient and his children information about local in-home services and about COA help. But the real issue is that they do not know how to "prove" to this woman that she needs help and that she is not doing the tasks she claims she is?
I thought maybe they somehow videotape her daily rountine showing her that it's her husband trying to clean, reheat frozen meals (which are not healthy for him), etc.
She has also become a recluse and will not leave the house with anyone. He has made doctor and dental appointments for her, but she cancels them and refuses to reschedule.