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Logan, I would also be annoyed. How is it that only YOU are the one who "owes" your mother servitude?

Don't sacrifice yourself at the altar of FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). Value yourself, and make plans for her to live somewhere else.
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Since you are not in an immediate crisis- I.e., hospitalization
Can you take a little time to make sure things go as smoothly as possible for both you and her ?

Do you have financial and medical power of attorney? Does mom have financial resources to pay for a facility ? Does she need skilled living or would assisted living or a residential board and care facility be suitable ? If mom needs to qualify for Medicaid- long term govt financial aid - have you looked at the Medicaid website
If all this sounds new or overwhelming then catch your breath and try to locate some resources to help guide you - Internet research, elder law attorney or geriatric care manager or county social worker
Perhaps you already know that Medicare will pay for only a short stay in a nursing home following a 3 day hospital stay
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Logan, never feel guilty for having your own feelings! You just might have come to the end of being able to manage her on your own, and that isn't nessesarly a bad thing, as you tried your best! I know that my husband and I are right where you are, and we've been at this 13 years, caring for his Dad in our home.

One person doing all the work, is almost impossible, as you do lose your sense of self!

No, you cannot let her consume your life! You must be in your 60's, and coming up on your own retirement age, and these are very important years towards you preparing financially for the best in that, so I think if you can find her a good Nursing home, where your siblings will come to see her, and you can get on with reconnecting with your life, family and friends, it would probably be the best case scenario for everybody.

Do you have caregivers, coming in while you are away at work during the day?

Does your Mom have a Narcissistic personality, as it does sound like she does have some tendencies toward that, with her lack of appreciation and her thinking that you are plotting against her. With her using tactics of FOG = Fear, Obligation and Guilt, she may fit the bill. I notice that your other siblings didn't "step up", and want to help, or offer you assistance in her care, perhaps they have already figured this out, and have set up their own "boundries", as children of Narcissistslearn to do. Think about that.

You don't owe her your life, you do owe her a safe and caring place to live, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it has to be with you!

I hope you find the peace you are seeking.
So, Continue to read here on the AC board, as there are many people in your same shoes, Me included, who are learning the way out of being the Only ones who take on the responsibility of the caregiving of their parents. It shouldn't only be on you, and there are other resources out there to help you through this!

Keep reading, and researching a way, to get your life back! You can do this! Good luck!
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