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My Dad just recently moved in with us and for the life of me, I cant get him to take shower! any ideas??????

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My dad still takes showers like he was in the military. I tell him he doesn't have to keep turning the water off and on!
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metalman, id rather be dead than to take a shower but them va bi*ches are hot looking. i rinse off some mortar dust and rub a little dog


metalman, do you take scented bubble baths or what ?
its just -- METALman , " id rather die than to go three days without a shower " ..
something just aint right here..
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this is too easy .
tell him he is not to take a shower, ever ..
go out and have a smoke and listen for the water to kick on ..
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I'm still very lost, my dad is only like 64 that's not old. His brother my uncle told us he's always been like that. I'd rather be dead than go 3 days without a shower. It's like he simply likes to stink. It really sux when I go to dating a girl I met and the time comes when she wants to meet the family. Then I say no then she thinks I'm ashamed of her or something. She's not the one I'm ashamed of. Can anybody help.
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I'm still very lost, my dad is only like 64 that's not old. His brother my uncle told us he's always been like that. I'd rather be dead than go 3 days without a shower. It's like he simply likes to stink. It really sux when I go to dating a girl I met and the time comes when she wants to meet the family. Then I say no then she thinks I'm ashamed of her or something. She's not the one I'm ashamed of. Can anybody help.
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I understand and have had issues with my mom. When mom was getting UTInfections, I used that as a good reason to bathe. I would remind mom that bathing helps the UTInfection. and then she wont have to take more medicine. And when mom was scratching and her scin was dry, I reminded her that bathing helped with the itching. I picked two days ( convenient for me) and it was easier after that. Also reminded her taking her bath when she was alone was not a good choice. Her judgement was not logical for safety. That's one of the reasons she is in LT NH . Mom does like bathing at the NH I have been told. Hope this helps.
Equinox
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I haven't figured this one out yet either. Mom (87) hasn't had a bath or shower in the six weeks since I moved in to help out. Dad (85) says she washes up at the sink, but I have no sense of smell and can't tell if she stinks or not. I do know for a fact that she only changes her clothes once or twice a week, because I do their laundry. Her bathroom tub/shower is fully fitted out with a chair, safety rails, etc., but I cannot convince Dad to help her bathe, and she won't let me help her because she thinks I'm the downstairs maid.
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Have you ever tried "waterless bath" products?? Used in hospital when lack of mobility made it impossible to get to bathrroom for shower. At home it sure beats fighting to get person into shower. Also, better than leaving soap on skin when it doesn't get completely washed off.
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I read in a book that with the confusion level of dementia, the elderly person cannot remember what steps need to be taken to actually take a shower or bath. It is so confusing to them that it is easier for them to just not bathe. I believe that is what happened to my mom, plus I think she just plain forgot to and really believed she had. So once she was moved in with me I took over giving her showers, she sits in a chair if necessary. I don't believe they need as many showers as we do either, I only shower mom once a week unless she does something really strenuous and needs one. Her skin can get so dry and irritable if I shower her too often. Perhaps its just time to give him some help in that department...my mom got over her shyness really quickly...and it does help to throw in some humor! Good luck!
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I tell my Mom (86 years, with alzheimer's) that she has a Doctor's appointment. Then I say, "You want to be clean when they check you, don't you?" This usually gets her in the shower.
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We have yet to "win" in the bathing dept.!!! We tried it all..... from handheld shower head to in home help! My mil still refuses, even her son can't persuade her. We've gotten firm, we conjoiled, told stories, sang ...etc.! My mil was not a happy person before the dementia, and certainly had a very DRY sense of humor so never thought anything was funny.All this we've done and still nothing is working? I helped do this for my own mother and grandmother before their passing...recently, so I'm no stranger to what needs done! We get that they might be affraid but the smell is so bad that she isn't allowed in the dining area of her care facility! It looks like the only recourse we have left is to , bodily take her in and both, her son and I do it??!!! My mil's daughter is not around as much as she should be(I think) to help with this care, she has a"list" of ailments that prevent her from these tasks....yeah right. However her son is there, but feels uncomfortable doing this for his mother. (no one ever saw anyone in a state of undress in that family.....ever!) So what to do now???
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My mom HATES to shower. I just tell her she HAS to do it. Period. I physically take her into the shower and wash her. If he is capable of showering himself, tell him he must or you will have to do it for him.... that might be enough encouragement if he is still modest!!!
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Shower seats are inexpensive. After my dad had his stroke at age 89, I went out and bought an inexpensive hand-held attachment to replace the shower head; on a long hose to control where you spray it, or mounts up on the wall. Made showering much easier for him. when he was bed-ridden, he only had weekly showers with as-needed sponge baths.
I don't know if you are male or female, but it is possible that if you are the daughter and he needs help, he understandably balks. There are caregivers who can come in just for things like bathing if he doesn't need other assistance.
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Parents were at home and father was early 90's with dementia/alz kicking in. He did not want to take a shower and was a horrendous battle with mother. The geriatric doctor said that alz creates a huge fear of water going over the person's head so the shower thing is very common. We ended up having a home service person come in once a week for three hours and one of his jobs was to give my father a shower. My father was more accepting of that so it was money very well spent and lowered the family stress level. Hope this helps.
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This seems to be a common problem with the elderly. I wonder if it's because in their generation baths were often taken once a week. Another thought is if they have no plans and are sitting home, they probably say "why bother": I've noticed with my 97 yr old father, he will take a shower when he's going some where. It seems lately I'm always mentioning things he does wrong because there are more things happening. We recently went through a problem with him locking himself out of the house. He went next door all upset bringing the neighbor back with him. It's been a practice to hide a key. What he does is take the key and not put it back. Yesterday I went to the store and when I came home he was sitting in his car waiting for me. He had taken the key from the hiding place and once again didn't replace it. My son told me to have about 10 keys made, put them in a coffee can, and then keep checking on how many are there. Good idea I'll try it.
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Most elderly become hydrophobic at some point in their lives. Whether it is afraid of falling, the inability to smell themselves, or because they have forgotten that hygiene is a regular part of daily living, who knows? But it can present problems. It becomes uncomfortable for the son to bathe the mother or the daughter to bathe the father, so outside help is sometimes necessary. And sometimes it just boils down to a contest of wills and who will hold out the longest and who can stand the firmest! When my mil was still living with us, she had her own home attached to ours, and I would tell her twice a week to bathe....she would tell us she had and when I started really keeping track, she was running water and filling her tub but not getting in it. She had an "elderly" tub, with the door so she only had to step in and sit down. The day things changed, she was outside working in the garden and downwind the stench knocked me over. I enlisted the help of her son, my husband, to convince her to bathe and she preferred to fight and argue. It ended up with me stripping her down, putting her in the tub, and getting her clean. The adult diaper she had on was literally rotting off her. I took over the bathing from that day. I always made it fun for her, made sure the bathroom was toasty, warm towels.....when I had to start doing the actual washing, I still kept things light and got the job done......30 min from undressing to redressing. If needed, you must stand firm and get the job done. It not only is beneficial to your nose, it's healthier for your charge to have a clean body.
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First, reduce your expectations. If you're trying to get him to bathe as frequently as you do, you'll probably never succeed. In fact, if he's really stubborn about it (and you've addressed any safety concerns he may be feeling but not expressing) you might have to settle on a thorough, daily 'washing up'. You really don't have to be immersed or deluged with water to get clean. Rather than dealing with the stress of fighting with him, encourage a complete 'stand up' bath - make sure there's a bath mat to stand on, a good supply of washcloths (so he can use one a day) and a low suds, irritant-free liquid soap to use.
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I have to remind my Mom how good she feels after a shower! Sometimes elderly are like puppies...threy dread going in and after all the attention and washing and scrubbing, they come out all frisky and smiley!

I give my Mom the shower while she sits in a nice shower chair. I dry her and while I do it, I make goofy remarks, and sometimes I will get the towel stuck under her boob or her butt and prettend it is really stuck! I pull, and squirm, spin around and try to get it out..and she laughs her self silly! By the end of the shower and she is all dressed she feels wonderful! Humor really helps.

It's just that iitial hump to get her in there.
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Is there a pool in your community? Maybe he doesn't feel safe in the shower, how about a bath instead? Try to remember times when he was younger when he would do some activity that made him really feel the NEED for a shower. If he is sitting aound all day every day, he probably doesn't think he needs a shower. Get him outside, give him a garden trowel and have him get visably dirty. If you can't get him to bathe then, tell him you will have to hose him down. My mom dosn't remember she didn't already take her bath. With a little coaxing I get everythong ready in the bathroom, water running, and then I lure her to the bathroom and just talk to her like it was her idea. Mom, I'll be right outside, if you need anything.
Good Luck!
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Bribery?
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