What is involved in getting power of attorney to make decisions for my mother?

It sounds to me like what you really need is to go for guardianship. Guardianship will give you all of the powers you need. Something here inspired an idea if you have other siblings you think may compete with you. If you think you may be in a fight against your siblings over your mom, I would just do what you need to do without telling them and let them find it out on their own, because once it's done it's done. The best thing to do is to see an elder care attorney who specializes in these matters, and let the lawyer handle it for you.

When we're young, it's a very wise move to plan out everything before we come to the point of needing help from others. One of your smartest moves besides planning your healthcare is to also plan your final disposition as well as your finances. Making all of the major plans and setting everything in motion now will be easier later if you should become incapacitated. That way, all of your wishes including your final wishes must be honored because they were already covered long before you ever became incapacitated. The more you can do for yourself now, the less someone else will have to do later because the easier the job will be for them if you've already taken care of all of your major decisions ahead of time.
For starters, it's always a wise move to plan out your final disposition if anything should happen to you anywhere you happen to be. This is why I strongly believe in preneed planning and having a funeral policy. I've also planned out my finances by using automatic online bill pay. That way all of my bills are already taken care of, which means no one has any business with their hands in my bank account because I not only have my bills come out automatically, but I also only use my bank card for all of my transactions. Regarding my health care, I'm planning as I go, according to my current needs. That way all of my needs are being properly met, and I don't have anyone to interfere when everything is going very well. I just wouldn't want someone else making a decision that would bring further harm or detriment to me, possibly causing permanent disability or early death. This is why you need to plan ahead when you're young and know what you want before you become incapacitated. The more you can do for yourself when you have that ability, the less someone else will have to do for you later if you plan out everything just right. The more you do for yourself now, the fewer decisions someone else will have to make later.

Added suggestions from the earlier comments: Even though you will have POA and DPOA upon death your Mom's bank accounts will be "frozen". I have had a special joint checking with both Ma's and my name on the account for years which cannot be frozen. However it is not a good idea to have a joint Credit Card. In my case my Ma has Dementia, however she was still able to understand that I will be taking care of her. We also filled out End of Life along with POA/DPOA paperwork. I asked the questions at least 3 times and her answers were the same each time. This needs to be done in the state where your Mom will reside as each state has different variations of Advanced Directive. I got the blessing of my siblings before doing so, which in some family dynamics can be daunting. Get multiple copies notarized right at the elder atty office keep one in a safety deposit box, others can be sent to your siblings. Advanced directive copy to her MD is helpful. Good luck hope this helps.

Stop ditzing around and get to an eldercare lawyer ASAP. It may be too late. If your name is not on her checking account (for check signing purposes), you'll have to take her to the bank and arrange that if she is able. When we took my mother to the eldercare lawyer for some legal things, it was touch and go. She was her usual charming self but had Lewy Body dementia and was going downhill. So we went through all the legalities and then they asked me to leave the room and let them talk to her! Luckily after half an hour, things went well.

I just went through this with my mother, about a month prior to a diagnosis of early to mid stage dementia, she was able to understand in simple terms what she was signing - I told her that every time I had to talk on the phone to a bank or insurance company, etc. on her behalf that without the POA I was breaking the law and that it was necessary for legal reasons. The medical POA I told her it was so she didn't end up like her older sister, who is in a facility with feeding tubes because no one in her family cares to step up to the plate or has medical POA authority.

It did put my mother into a tizzy for about a week, she didn't want to think about her possible death or disability, but she did know what she was signing at the time.

The lawyer did a whole 5 document "estate" package, last will, financial POA, medical POA, Disposition of Remains and Pre-Need Guardian. I also did mine at the same time, so that I don't but my daughter through this caregiver nightmare when I get older.

I was in the room when the attorney went over all the papers, which we had reviewed at home, and then I had to leave the room while she signed them, because I was being named the "person of authority" (as my mother calls it now).

Good luck.

Very good advice given so far. When my friends--the wife with diagnosed dementia and the husband still pretty much o.k.-- needed someone "in the wings" to help them in the future, my wife downloaded the two POA forms for finances and health decisions for Minnesota off the internet and the wife's cousin, a nurse professor, came up from Illinois to go through the forms with them. She got them notarized with them at their bank the next day. The forms gave me, as first power of attorney, complete authority for their finances and health care decisions. They also chose their preferences for extra-ordinary medical care choices like tube feeding, etc. The cousin made herself second power of attorney and another friend of theirs the third power of attorney. They have no children and no other family members close by or involved, so it is basically up to me. I am learning a lot, but take care of all the bill paying, insurance claims, etc. The husband now lives in a memory care apartment in an AL facility that provides excellent care. I now have to go through their condo and get rid of all the furniture and personal belongings--a long process--before I can sell their condo. The wife died last October from her fronto-temporal dementia and the husband's current doctor now uses the term Alzheimers. His short term memory is terrible, so the memory care apartment I found for him is just where he needs to be. He is happy there and has no idea of the amount of working being done on his behalf, but that's o.k. We've been friends for a long time and it is a privilege to be able to serve him. Because he was pretty coherent two years ago when this was done, we didn't need an elder attorney to do this. Your mom may be in a different state, though, so the advice about seeing an elder attorney first is wise advice. Download the forms first so you can see what they are like in case they bring to mind questions you might have. Using the bank notary made it easier for me to be put on their checking and saving accounts as their agent.

Scared01, yes those documents might be acceptable as written, my concern is the signature. I am curious who would allow someone with advanced Alzheimer's sign legal documents?

to freqflyer; Sorry, everyone's situation is different. The company I went through had paralegals and an in house eldercare attorney. This was much cheaper than an attorney and every was verified by him. My Mom passed less than 3 months ago and I had to place my Dad in a group home that he loves. All the documents I acquired through this company has been acceptable for all involved. A will, durable poa, healthcare poa, funeral and my Dad's placement. The Alzheimer's Org. was very helpful with concerns, a placement etc.

Regarding not using an Elder Law attorney.... all it takes is one missing word or one misplaced word to create a serious problem with someone other than an Attorney creating the Power of Attorney and other legal documents. For me, it was money well spent to get the attorney's vast knowledge of all the ins and out regarding everything related to all kinds of documents and how to set up accounts.

My father has advanced Alzheimer's, last year before my Mom passed, I took both of them to a company that draws up HCPOA, Financial POA and I did a durable healthcare POA. Although Mom had dementia and Dad with ALZ, she did the paperwork and charged $600.00. No attorney needed. You need to get POA for vehicles if any; checking accounts/savings accounts with your name added to accounts, be sure to look for a company that does this all. You don't need an attorney. Everything I did has worked out. Good luck to you.

POA does not extend till death. Its voided as of the death of the person. An executor needs to be named at time the will is written. If not, then probate can assign one.

jamarshall, lesson learned from this, make sure that your have your own Power of Attorney all ready.

DonLyn, I'm not familiar with a POA that extends "into death". Was this something an attorney prepared, and what exactly is it called?

You aren't referring to a Successor Trustee or Personal Representative's capacity, are you?

Contact an attorney who is versed in elder law. Don't just use any attorney. I would also make sure the attorney has many years vested in elder law. There are several types of POA as well. There is a regular POA which will only cover you while she is still alive. There is POA that extends into death, which is what I have over my Mom. I also have a healthcare POA. Generally POA's are only granted to relatives living in the same state as the parent. Or the closest living relative. If she lives with you then you should be okay to get a POA. Also you will need to get her mentally evaluated if she is mentally unstable before pursuing the POA. Otherwise she will need to be with you when you visit the attorney and both of you will need to sign papers.

Sorry! (I hit the key too soon)
Basically this allowed me to pay her bills, sell assets, etc. You have to keep in mind that the POA requires you to act responsibly on making decisions. The document had to be signed by Mom in the presence of a Notary; no other witnesses were required

Medical POAs are a little more complicated and will require additional witnesses.

On the surface it looks like your situation will get more complicated going further so follow the advice you've already received in this forum and seek out an elder care attorney to help navigate the process.

You'll most likely be dealing with different types of documents. When I was in a similar situation with my Mom I had her sign a POA that allowed me to make financial decisions for her: pa

See an elder law attorney or estate attorney to have the papers drawn up. This is a must. Get both POAs - one for health care and one for finances. The sooner the better. It isn't a big deal to do - but immensely important.

Take care,
Carol

I would have your mother's physicians write up health car summaries regarding her current mental state. I would also find a good elder law attorney and share those summaries with him/her. Let the attorney gauge how you should proceed forward along with your Mom's physicians. If you are an only child, this may not be such a difficult task - because you won't have others weighing in on the matter (siblings who disagree over things will make matters worse). Please make sure you consult with an elder law attorney. My understanding is that any lawyer can draw up a POA but you need guidance with elder law. Best of luck to you and your mom. XO

Your mother has to sign papers that allow you to make decisions for her -- two kinds of forms, actually, one for financial decisions and one for medical decisions. She has to be able to understand what she is signing. It is OK for her to sign even if she has dementia, so long as she can comprehend the basic idea of allowing someone else to act on her behalf when she wants them to or when she cannot to it herself.

It is not very complicated, but because of the complication of dementia it would be best to have a lawyer who specializes in Elder Law to help you with it.

Ask you mom if you can be POA when she is having a good day,, Have a Docter or lawyer present,,, if she says yes in front of them,, they witness it,, If she can write she can sign the paper all the better than the lawyer can give you POA

Whoever acts as the notary will have to ensure, and be willing to state in court, that at the time of the signing your Mother was fully aware of what she was signing and understood that you would be in control if she reached a certain point. Had to do this with my Dad, he was signing various papers in the hospital (insurance,etc) and was not lucid and we have to redo them once he came around. The POA is actually only two pages long generally and can be found, for some states, online, you simply input your own, and your Mother's information. However, you must have someone there to notarize the fact that she is signing the paper. If she is unable to sign then you will need to be granted POA through your local legal system. Good Luck.

You definitely--absolutely--have to see an eldercare attorney.

It might be too late to obtain POA over your mother. She has to be lucid and be able to understand what she's signing. I would suggest that you contact an attorney as soon as possible.