He's the one getting paid & doesn't give anything to his brother who isnt even trained. Three brothers youngest ones idea to take care of mom who has dementia and gets paid to do so ,she's great with him,Now hes always saying he needs a brake and tells the oldest to watch here, & all he does is tell her to be quiet ,to wait he has no patience at all always in the other room on the web or asleep hebwoks only 6 he's a day and has No traing for this so then the always tell the other bro to help out that he doesn't pitch in well this bro works night shift and comes home tired but there always banging on the window waking him up demanding him that he should be up and go over there Is there sumthing he can do he barely making enough to live man and pays the bills for his house and for the older bro and pays rent which the older bro doesnt ,he doesn't pay nothing that I know of Now the youngest live as with his mom , oldest next door in front of the other bro the youngest owns all three so in other words he's using his middle bro woch doesn't mind to watch his mom cu he loves her but its very nerve wrecking for him and he Is a very patient man but has no training for this. And wut if the mom chokes or falls its just scarey and illegal for the Lil bro to leave all the time doesn't even give him a brake on the rent or at least half that check he's getting sos my friend please...
If you are saying there are 3 brothers involved, one of them gets paid to care for their mother the other two dont, then it is still not fair that he does 24/7 care - he would be exhausted, especially if his mum is up at night and wanders and is incontinent etc etc
If the other two have no skills in caring then you should get someone iin who can care for their mum but it will be at a cost.
As a carer it is usual not to pay rent or have to buy food out of your own pocket if the care you provide is live in care
As has been said before there should be a laid out plan of what each brother is going to do. If one is caring for 8 hours one is working for 6 hours and the other is working for 8 hours then there are still 16 hours of care to cover every day and unless they are willing to pay then they have to share the duties or alternatively put their mum into care which would cost a lot mopre propbably then each could go their own way
If you're concerned about the lady's welfare, call your local social services and ask them to come and assess her living situation. Three (untrained) men and a little old lady with dementia - it's certainly doesn't sound ideal.
Reading between the lines, you resent the time taken from your boyfriend to care for his mother. Don't, encourage him to fully express his love by caring for Mom. Teach him the joy of intimacy, that one gets in caring more for another then himself. He will marry you, because you make him a better and happier person. If rather than complain about the burden, you shared the burden you would start to be marriage worthy. Good luck
Sounds like the 3 grown men would be better off to create a little distance and do their own thing. Probably had good intentions to begin with, but then the novelty wore off and reality set in, if they are squabbling about who is supposed to be doing what.
I saw this same thing play out in a kid friendly neighborhood I lived in for 12 years. New family buys house, one perfectly little bathed well dressed always supervised 3 or 4 year old, maybe an infant or one on the way, stay at home Mom. Modest furnishings, average cars. Fast forward 3 or 4 years down the road, fancy stuff showing up on delivery trucks, a new SUV or 2. Mom's at work all night, Dad is always on the back deck eating something out of a fast food sack playing with an electronic toy. The 3 or so kids are dirty, unfed and begging from the neighbors, missing pants and or shoes, 6 blocks away with traffic dodging them. Then the "For Sale" sign hits the front yard right before one or the other moves out, ... Caregiving of any dependent living thing is a lot of work, not something someone can continually do "in between" other things, or just when ever they are able. It really is a full time job or more, without nights and weekends off to recharge.
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