He's getting paid to watch Mom but is always gone. Any advice?

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He's the one getting paid & doesn't give anything to his brother who isnt even trained. Three brothers youngest ones idea to take care of mom who has dementia and gets paid to do so ,she's great with him,Now hes always saying he needs a brake and tells the oldest to watch here, & all he does is tell her to be quiet ,to wait he has no patience at all always in the other room on the web or asleep hebwoks only 6 he's a day and has No traing for this so then the always tell the other bro to help out that he doesn't pitch in well this bro works night shift and comes home tired but there always banging on the window waking him up demanding him that he should be up and go over there Is there sumthing he can do he barely making enough to live man and pays the bills for his house and for the older bro and pays rent which the older bro doesnt ,he doesn't pay nothing that I know of Now the youngest live as with his mom , oldest next door in front of the other bro the youngest owns all three so in other words he's using his middle bro woch doesn't mind to watch his mom cu he loves her but its very nerve wrecking for him and he Is a very patient man but has no training for this. And wut if the mom chokes or falls its just scarey and illegal for the Lil bro to leave all the time doesn't even give him a brake on the rent or at least half that check he's getting sos my friend please...

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Hospice is end of life care when a person is determined to be chronically ill. It is comfort care only. Evaluations are completed to determine whether hospice is appropriate for your loved one. Doctors will prescribe hospice if they think within six months the patient will pass. Hospice will either come into home, or it can ge done in a hospital setting, hospice center.

You may want to search on this website for hospice, in the upper right hand corner. Or, from the National Institute of Health:
nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/hospicecare.html
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Now i have a nother question .Wut is Hospice?
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To Cathberry and New2this, Well said:)
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Check it out people im not writing to impress none of u . Im just looking for sum kind of advice for my friends here .Thanx to the ones that took the time to read and understand this little issue that has been resolved thank u (ther is a scheduale now)and this is for the people that have a problem with my spelling and punctuation I HAVE RA AND AM LOSING MY HANDS IHAVE ALOT OF PROBLEMS SO I WOULD LIKE FOR U JUDGEMENTAL PEOPLE TO JUST STAY OF MY PAGE OK THERS NO NEED FOR UR ADVICE ON GRAMMER OR OTHER STUPID THINGS UR WORRIED ABOUT FIRST, RATHER THEN THE WHOLE ISSUE . I KNO IM NOT PERFECT BUT FOR SUMONE TO JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER (or i should say spelling or punctuation) you got to be kidding me all i got to say to u is UGLY . THANK U AGAIN PEOPLE
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Presumably some people are using voice recognition software for their posts, too? That would explain - I'm not criticising the OP on this thread, by the way - both some of the comical interpretations and the sheer volume of text you get from people who otherwise don't sound like confident writers.

My two penn'orth: good grammar and punctuation make meaning clearer, but the onus is on the reader to comprehend.
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Raindrop, I do not agree that we are not trained. We are all trained quite well because we know the person's history. That cannot be taught, those with dementia xome out of left field often, but only family caregivers can begin to figure out what is going on in their dying brains. Skills of care are taught and certified and can be done by just about anyone, though they have to have great patience. Stop discounting what you are doing for your loved one because of the lack of formal training! There is only one person in the world that can provide the cafe and comfort that you do. And that is YOU!
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Cathberry, I kind of thought some of the same things. Stress, lack of sleep, genuine concern makes me ramble too. I have a couple friends who do emails sometimes on little tiny keyboards on their Blackberries and such, when in a hurry. Most are college grads, but make quite a few "typos" on those silly little devices, especially when it's late and they are tired. My hats off to them though, I'd have a lot more typos than that on those goofy things. Then we do also have to consider whether or not English is a 1st language, considering we are world wide. I was taught 3 languages at the same time as a child, complete with the various "spelling" and use rules, it comes out when I am tired, and or super stressed. :-)
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No amount of money can buy you peace of mind. I too am a caregiver for a mother who is bitter and angry. It is not easy and when you lose the peace in your own home its not good. It is easy for others to come by and look and see what you are not doing or what you should be doing and sometimes one break is not enough. Shifts would be even better because I feel that if tyou can come around and assesss the care thast you can come and help-. It may start off great being a caregiver but over time and without your own life being able to work and have a life like the other siblings....take shifts if you feel like your brother or sister is not doing enough and do it over time. Some are stronger than others Dont judge atleast the caregiver tried. Now let someone else try!!. They donot pay you enough to lose your life! No one can really talk unless they have taken care of a parent and a difficult one at that.l I belive in trying, thats why I did. I was hoping to make a difference and sometimes it just doesnt work or is not appreciated . My mother always treated me different anyways but again atleast i tried and I definitely dont see any one else offering to try..lol..They would rather see her in a nursing home!
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I need to be sure I am understanding this properly and I mean no offence but it seems you are distressed by all of this:

If you are saying there are 3 brothers involved, one of them gets paid to care for their mother the other two dont, then it is still not fair that he does 24/7 care - he would be exhausted, especially if his mum is up at night and wanders and is incontinent etc etc
If the other two have no skills in caring then you should get someone iin who can care for their mum but it will be at a cost.

As a carer it is usual not to pay rent or have to buy food out of your own pocket if the care you provide is live in care

As has been said before there should be a laid out plan of what each brother is going to do. If one is caring for 8 hours one is working for 6 hours and the other is working for 8 hours then there are still 16 hours of care to cover every day and unless they are willing to pay then they have to share the duties or alternatively put their mum into care which would cost a lot mopre propbably then each could go their own way
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gladimhere and TooYoungForThis--and to all other members of this forum who believe that only perfection should be presented to them: The strength of this website is its non-judgemental focus--and that includes making judgements on not only the content of postings but also on the grammar and spelling skills (or lack thereof) of participants. I am sure we have all come across documents that have been "Spellchek"ed, only to discover that many of our sentences were "corrected" and the results were nothing like what was originally intended.

I am a doctoral student with excellent grammar and spelling skills but that does not mean that I never make an error in my spelling or my grammar--especially when I am under stress. Sometimes, when I want to get my thoughts down on paper, spelling, grammar and, indeed my legible handwriting, all go "out the window"!

Not all of us have been granted the gift of an excellent (or even an average) education. Having enjoyed such an education does not give anyone the right to scold and humiliate someone--anyone--in a public forum (What you do in private is your own business.). To me this smug attitude smacks of nothing but arrogance and a sense of superiority. "Look, look look--I am better/smarter than you. I know how to write "complete sentences, with periods ending the sentences & capital letters starting the first word in a sentence." I know--AND use big words like "coherent".

The posting makes sense if you only take the time to read it. Koodoos to those who did so and who were able to get beyond the lack of punctuation etc. to actually make suggestions that may help MAVR2013.

How about bringing a bit more compassion, and a bit less judgment, into MAVR2013's request for help and advice and then offer constructive criticism.
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