My mom is delightful when she is healthy. She is independent and thriving. When she falls ill, she calls me early in the morning and I'm off and running. Getting to her, getting in touch with the right doc for the ailment that is occurring. She is sometimes on top of her finances, mostly, and now there are some oops moments. Life has become chaotic and I find that it takes me much too much time to get back on a schedule. My work is deteriorating, my friends don't count on seeing me anymore, my fitness and eating are off track. Right now for example I am writing on this site, after reading some wonderful, reassuring posts, I'm afraid to pick up the phone and make appointments for myself, because lately I've cancelled so many. Mom's health has been up and down. We are interviewing help this afternoon, but I'm not even sure we know what is needed since the situation is such a roller coaster. I know it will be terminal... but for now, and for possibly years... her life and my life have fallen into utter chaos and I can say for sure, I've lost the discipline to keep moving forward. I'm indecisive and would appreciate any tips and tricks and suggestions from others who have found a way to keep order where there is none. Thank you for listening and for your anticipated good suggestions.