Any suggestions on getting my husband in an adult daycare?

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I know he will have to go thru an interview to be accepted, however, he hates answering questions and that they would think he is stupid. Do I just wait for the next stage when he has lost all care of where he goes? Should I go to talk with the center, alone, to see what they recommend? I really need some space before I totally burnout.

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We visited a daycare to see if it was something he would like and the person running it met with us to understand his needs/likes and tell us about the place before we joined everyone else for lunch and a few scheduled activities. I'm not sure Dad understood why we were there but he enjoyed the lunch, several people came over to greet him/us, and I was able to experience it with him. They did emphasize the cost savings to us going through the VA - as have others - and ultimately I decided he probably wasn't there yet. Still looking for just the right chemistry. . . .
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Thank you, everyone for your input. I will be visiting a facility now for when the timing is right to try placing him. I've ordered some coloring books and pencils along with some scratch art paper. He used to do some really nice pictures along time ago, so I'll see if I can find something he is interested in doing. However, since he clings to me so much, I'll have to try and get him started and interested in it again and then wander away to do my thing. I'm thinking of making a deal with him. If I get 4 hours, after he awakes, then we'll do something together. I hope he remembers the deal. We'll try puzzles too.
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Another thing. If your loved one is not as progressed as the other clients at the faci,it's he will possibly feel that's where he's headed become depressed or like my mom did she found the activities to be a waste of time. As she was an excellent artist the idea of spending the day putting dots on construction paper was disturbing. So I had a covers action with the staff chief and they made her a volunteer to help the others. Teaching and helping others do those functions was acceptable to her and she had a purpose. There are many roads to take. Just find a facility thT can accommodate who he is.
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Do what you can, with compassion, to get him there to try it. Like Iggycp said, keep it light and positive. Maybe plan an activity he will enjoy after going to visit (out to eat, ice-cream or walk in the park, etc) You will not know if/how it is going to work until y'all try it. Once there, the staff should be able to help him feel more at ease. If not, that could be a "red flag". Good for you for admitting you need some space.
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Is he a veteran? The Veteran's Admin. will pay for three days a week of daycare, but it will depend on the veteran status, if he is seen at a Veteran's clinic, and the doctor there recommends it to the social worker who will then submit for payment. Not all will enjoy daycare (like my husband) and I listened to him and took him out of it. Now, I just take him with me and let him push the cart in the stores, and he wears his three-war veteran hat, and people come up and thank him. He likes that! (He can't respond much, but that's okay). Do what you have to do.
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Sorry that shld be they need your help.
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I started taking my 85 yr alz husband when I needed my space. As we moved he has been in 3 diff adc places. They understand the person's they work W & all places are different. He has worked well in each & is exasted when he comes home. We noticed 8 yrs ago changes. It's mainly memory but has to be busy when awake so 100 pc puzzles & dot to dot books keep him occupied. I pass on this info to daycare & took some to them. Don't fret about interview. Don't tell him what it's for as once again they work W these people. Make up a story when you take him. I say they need tour help. They have told me going to office, church whatever. I tell him I'm going shopping. They soon get used to going & enjoy your free time.
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I had my mom in an adult health day center so I could continue working. It was a
Godsend at the right time. She participated there for 18 mos. don't wait, if he still has some cognitive moments he will enjoy their activities, etc. lovingly explain to him that you want him to take a break from you....to have time with others in a safe environment that will help him spend an enjoyable day. Make it all positive. Then also get involved. Get to know the staff, they have a hard job. Get to know the routines, how can you share I some group time. I loved mornings dropping off my mom and greeting the early bird group. Getting them engaged to start the day. I miss the staff & caring "members" of the "club". Mom has declined and needed more professional care than I could give. I started this journey with her 9 yrs ago and we are still together thru the changes, but now I have help & support to help me be/get strong as we move forward on this journey. Important advice......"if the caregiver does not stay well (physically, mentally, emotionally) how/who will be there to caregive for the loved one." Good luck!
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I don't think there is any easy way, but like Bonnie said just tell the center he has problems communicating, and just let him answer when he feels comfortable. I guess you will have to speak for him. Good luck.
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Surely go to the center but realize they will want to meet/ interview him. You can have a game plan andcrell them in advance of his feelings and you may interject as needed as to not upset him or make him feel badly. It worked for me
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