My father gave my mother anything she wanted throughout her life. He never was good at budgeting. He is 87. She's soon 87. He has tried to keep his budget a 'secret' from his family so we wouldn't know his poor judgment. A neighbor was asked to help my dad write checks. At last, the neighbor has received permission from my dad to see my dad's flow chart. The neighbor sees many financial issues, such as taxes needing to be paid, etc. He doesn't see where he'll be able to pay many of the 'bigger bills'. They own a cabin, but my mom and sister never wanted to sell it. The stress of this whole situation is making me very anxious. When I think of my parents I just get anxious inside. I hate to see them out of money, but if they don't sell the cabin, they will not have enough money to pay their bills. Please give me some encouragement.
I agree with JessieBelle that a fee-only financial adviser who just charges a fee for giving advice may be worthwhile. Don't get into something ongoing because that can end up costing people like your parents money that they can't afford. Check out The National Association of Personal Financial Advisors (NAPFA) at http://www.napfa.org/ for information.
Often, someone who is not a family member can help elders understand what needs to be done, because the family dynamic and suspicion of motives is removed. Please try to get your parents some professional guidance.
Good luck,
Carol