Well, then all you can do is bribe her. Tell her you will come after she takes a shower. "Mom, if you take a shower we'll go to X restaurant for lunch/dinner"; mom, take a shower and I'll take you to aunt Betty's, etc.
You can't reason when they get this way about the health benefits...otherwise you just have to tell them they smell even if you dont notice an odor and see if she is agreeable to a bath 2 days a week. I think they just don't see the point, it's another chore, they have fears of slipping, getting chilled..vie seen my mom go thru spells where she will wear same outfit and sleep in it for a few days even out of just "laziness" and lack of desire to change to pjs or sort thru closet, etc. Kind of depression. But if I'm visiting or we are going out she rally's and gets all dolled up even with dementia.
Nothing has worked for us and we have given up. Mom never enjoyed anything, including what most of us love - a nice long warm shower. It was always a 3 minute thing anyway. But she would never miss her hair appointment or putting on her makeup! She stopped showering a few years ago and took sponge baths. Now she doesn't even wash (I know because there are no dirty towels or washcloths, ever) We have tried, she lies and refuses. She won't let any strangers in her apt. Its just no use. She doesn't seem to smell, and will at least let us wash her stained clothes. We're just waiting until the facility tells us she must move to assisted living.
Say " Well I do, because then you won't smell so bad." or tell them they have head lice and you can see them. Whatever it takes. Spill something in their lap, tell them you smell poop. Manipulate.
You can't reason when they get this way about the health benefits...otherwise you just have to tell them they smell even if you dont notice an odor and see if she is agreeable to a bath 2 days a week. I think they just don't see the point, it's another chore, they have fears of slipping, getting chilled..vie seen my mom go thru spells where she will wear same outfit and sleep in it for a few days even out of just "laziness" and lack of desire to change to pjs or sort thru closet, etc. Kind of depression. But if I'm visiting or we are going out she rally's and gets all dolled up even with dementia.
Here are some articles from our site that may help your situation.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/Alzheimers-disease-bathing-139323.htm
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/elderly-parents-who-wont-shower-or-change-clothes-133877.htm
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/how-often-dementia-patient-need-to-bathe-159977.htm
Hope this helps,
Ashley T.
The AgingCare.com Team