How do you get a veteran to go into treatment against his will?

Thanks for the clarification. Here's the thing. You can't reason with someone with dementia. That part of his brain is broken.

Frankly, in your shoes, I'd call 911. A dementia patient with a loaded gun is a tragedy waiting to happen. I'm glad your mother is safe with you.

No, calling 911 is NOT over-reacting. Explain the situation to the operator, that he has dementia and that your mother fears for her life.

Your mom (if she is afraid and wants to go home) can be a danger and may need to go to a battered woman's shelter. Let me tell you why. She is in your home, she answers the door, it is her husband, he demands to enter, she is afraid and lets him in....he has the loaded gun.....JUST DO ANYTHING YOU CAN TO AVOID THIS SCENARIO.

Would like to hear some viable suggestions from others if there is any other way.
Time is of the essence.

Your mom needs professional advice. The solution to her problem is not for amateurs. There is a powder keg filled with emotion here that needs to be addressed by people much better qualified than anyone on this site. If she is afraid to go home, I think she should call a battered woman's shelter for council.

I see SendMe had the same idea which strengthens my opinion. I don't think she should be staying at your home.

Your mom may need protection. Only she knows that. But I would hesitate ramping this up to a nuclear option without professional advice. Remember folks. Things like restraining orders do NOTHING to protect a woman from someone like this. And nothing has been said about this man having broken any laws...or threatening poster's mom at all.

We simply aren't qualified, in my opinion. Don't take offense. Just my personal two cents.

Let's see....Father has early Alzheimer's, won't agree to see a doctor, carries a loaded weapon, Mother is afraid to be in the home and is taking shelter with her daughter....

Anyone who comes to the house could be in danger, especially if he doesn't recognize people.

Yes, I think calling 911 is a high priority.


Let's just hope Debi comes back and sees these posts. So often the original poster never returns.

Yes, Babalou, calling 911 is not just a good idea or a suggestion.
Is this man your father?
You might need to call 911 again if he shows up at your house. This is why the police are justifiably cautious (afraid) in domestic violence cases.
You asked how to get him treatment? This is how if he refuses.
Is he retired, or works? Does he leave the house? Again, get control of the gun.

Maggie, I understand that you think that counsel should be sought. But it's not that the man HAS a loaded gun, it is stated that he CARRIES a loaded gun. Those are two different things, in my experience.

I am not so worried about the wife, who is at a remove from the situation. I'm worried about the 3 year old Asian kid next door. The police should be informed about this situation. It's Sunday, and at least where I live in Brooklyn, that means calling 911 and explaining the situation to the responder.

And no, I don't take offense at anyone differing with my opinion, ever.

Garden, thanks for summarily addressing the poster's question so well.

Does he literally carry a loaded gun at ALL times????If you are afraid he will do something if the cops are called. Is there a way to get him out of the house without it and you can go in and remove it? Call him and tell him to meet you or his wife somewhere...doctors office/hospital-tell him someone had an accident? I don't think he would bring a gun there? Even if you don't meet him there it gets him out of the house for you to get the gun??? Just a thought.....then take it to the police dept explain the situation.Then if the wife is still afraid call 211 or 911 they can take him in for a hold and evaluate him if he is dangerous and needs counseling! The wife should not lose her home over this! Best of luck and please stay safe!

I would go personnally to your local police department. Take a report from his doctor. Is the gun registered and he is allowed to carry? The police maybe able to confiscate it. Don't call 911, they will just put u thru to the local police department. Itss hard to express and get across what u need to by phone. Your Mom should not go home.