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Anyone who comes to the house could be in danger, especially if he doesn't recognize people.
Yes, I think calling 911 is a high priority.
Let's just hope Debi comes back and sees these posts. So often the original poster never returns.
So yeah, I'd call 911 to have them get the gun away from him.
And because this man is carrying a loaded gun is why I would be on the phone to 911 NOW to ask the police to come and disarm him or disable the weapon. That would actually be the first step I'd take.
If he's filed for and is getting assistance from the VA, call his PC team/doctor and ask for assistance. The VA is screening a lot more for depression, and even though he may not have that, there are protocols in place to deal with someone who has become unstable.
What branch of service did he serve in? Although I've never worked with them, I understand that the branches have their own support and crisis management groups. I can't offer any more information on that other than that I've read about the service branches addressing the PTSD issues more now than in past years.
I am not so worried about the wife, who is at a remove from the situation. I'm worried about the 3 year old Asian kid next door. The police should be informed about this situation. It's Sunday, and at least where I live in Brooklyn, that means calling 911 and explaining the situation to the responder.
And no, I don't take offense at anyone differing with my opinion, ever.
I see SendMe had the same idea which strengthens my opinion. I don't think she should be staying at your home.
Your mom may need protection. Only she knows that. But I would hesitate ramping this up to a nuclear option without professional advice. Remember folks. Things like restraining orders do NOTHING to protect a woman from someone like this. And nothing has been said about this man having broken any laws...or threatening poster's mom at all.
We simply aren't qualified, in my opinion. Don't take offense. Just my personal two cents.
I read that you cannot reason with a person who is ill in this manner. Does he actually have a diagnosis?
I have just read of a case where a man in a nursing home became aggressive and police were called. He was handcuffed and tasered, much to the dismay of the aging care community, laws were passed, now training is required. In many places. I don't understand why professional medical caregivers cannot offer alternatives. One choice would be to administer an instant acting sedative by injection in the case of a patient acting in an aggressive dangerous way. I am thinking now, you should contact the psychiatric evaluation team because the patient who refuses care can be admitted against his will for dangerous behaviors, and then evaluated. Do you think CARRYING A GUN would be dangerous? Don't we need a permit to carry a gun? I don't know.
Don't want this man to be a victim. How can we help?
A n y o n e ? Debi, can you clarify somewhat?
Time is of the essence.
Is this man your father?
You might need to call 911 again if he shows up at your house. This is why the police are justifiably cautious (afraid) in domestic violence cases.
You asked how to get him treatment? This is how if he refuses.
Is he retired, or works? Does he leave the house? Again, get control of the gun.
Do not allow your mother to deny the issues and persuade you from doing what is right.
Frankly, in your shoes, I'd call 911. A dementia patient with a loaded gun is a tragedy waiting to happen. I'm glad your mother is safe with you.
No, calling 911 is NOT over-reacting. Explain the situation to the operator, that he has dementia and that your mother fears for her life.
Do not go anywhere near where one has to be afraid.
Does he drive, take drugs, drink, what are the signs of Alzheimers?
It is a danger to give refuge to a woman who has escaped a possible domestic violence situation in her home. Be aware, make plans for yours, your family's, and mother's safety. Make a police report if that is how you can protect yourself.
In today's world, we don't want to be reading later about a vet gone berserck and shooting his entire family. What is he doing now? Does he want his wife to come home? While she is with you, you can call Adult Protective Services, and ask for a welfare check in his home. The priority is the gun in the possession of (whatever is wrong with him) this person.
Thinking it may be time to take the nuclear option, now that he has been shamed by taking his wife out of the home. She should not go back.
I could be wrong.
The answer to some or all of these questions will help readers to offer more helpful suggestions.