I have been getting two messages from family members recently. The first is "Why can't you do more to help your mom?" Excuse me you're not here in the middle of the night emptying the commode, giving an enema, giving anti-nausea meds, changing linens basically taking care of mom and making sure the basic things get done around the house like laundry. Second question I've been getting "Why can't you go out and get a real job?" I work as a substitute teacher when I can. Right now I have one caregiver one day a week who can stay with mom but she's a student nurse so her hours are dependent upon her school schedule. Therefore, if I need her to come earlier I have to let her know ahead of time (I sometimes get a phone call at 8 am asking me to work but by then it's too late to organize care for mom for the day). So my question is do other people get that "why can't you do more?" from family and friends? How does it make you feel because it makes me want to scream or smack them.