He's had a few falls outdoors and in their apartment, and he already has a broken rib from a recent fall. In order to get him to keep up with her when they go out, she takes his hand and pulls him along behind her. Watching the two of them like that is frightening enough, but it's even scarier now that he's gotten more frail over the last two months. At a recent dr's visit the dr witnessed how shaky on his feet he was, and told us it was way past time we got in-home care & the use of a wheelchair for my dad, and that we should especially use the wheelchair whenever my dad's outside. My stepmother bought the wheelchair the next day, but immediately began to refuse to let him use it--or to allow the aides to transport him outside the house with the chair. She says to me/to him that she thinks I'm trying to turn him into an invalid, and tells all of us--including the aides--that the dr doesn't know what he's talking about, and he can't dictate to her that my dad has to use a wheelchair. The last thing I want is for my dad to be an invalid or have his mobility limited. But I feel just as strongly about not wanting him to be at heightened risk for another fall. I know my stepmother doesn't want him to be hurt or to suffer from a fall either, but this has now become an extremely charged issue between my stepmother and I, which isn't good for my father's quality of life. Or for hers...or mine, either. But I'm frantic with worry that he's going to fall and hurt himself, break a hip, etc. I live out of state but visit at least once a month, and I try to plan my trips to go with them to as many dr visits as I can. I also pay for half of the in-home care, which I'd been offering and trying, in vain, to put in place for over a year. Finally having aides, who help BOTH of them, is providing needed respite and relief for her, and trained support for my dad as his dementia symptoms escalate. My stepmother now says she wishes she'd agreed to accept in-home aides a long time ago. But I need help in getting her to accept using the wheelchair for him. I'm failing miserably in gaining her cooperation in following the dr's instructions/recommendations, especially when it relates to my dad's safety. Any suggestions that can help us to communicate better and work more as a team to support my dad's care would be greatly appreciated.