I'd say they are "absorbant padded undergarment" that she can wear with or without underwear. (that way, she might just wear under her normal underwear and she'll feel more "confident". It's kind of embarrassing for them. Explain they are just like "when she used to wear feminine pads" only now they help with leaking or accidents - with more coverage. She might be more receptive. I also would comment "a lot of people experience the leaking or accidents -- even in their 40s and 50s and this is just another product to help you live more comfortably". Yep -- stay away from the "diaper" conversation -- too demeaning.
I've told my mother when various aging issues come up that it's common for the body to do------ & needs -------. That she's not the only one and many like her have learned to accept it and be able to live more comfortably. I pull the "that just what the body does when aging" card frequently. She was moping about having to live in a memory care unit, I ask her to look around the place and notice that the other there were just like her, she was no better nor worse than any of them. She's seems to "get it".
My experience: just don't say DIAPER or DEPENDS!!I I said to her comely "would you try new theker posi" my client was start wearing those no problem. And she says very comfortable. G/L
She's seems to "get it".