Follow
Share

Now that Mom is in AL, I am going through items of hers that we were storing in our house. There is a basket full of belts - woven betls, fabric belts, sashes. About 20 or so of them. Can I give the belts away? Mom hasn't used them or asked about them or mentioned them in over 2 years. They are actually probably too big for her because she lost a lot of weight after her heart surgery / stroke just over 2 1/2 years ago.

Maybe I'm answering my own question but I need someone to nudge me and tell me it's okay.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
You would be surprised the trivial things people remember. I left behind an opened jar of peanut butter at my Mom's when we cleaned it out and she still frets about that wasted food. And, by the way, she has plenty of medical stuff to think about. Yet, she still thinks about the most trivial items. I was trying to get her to focus on the important things, but she was going around collecting all her clothespins and paper clips.

So, yes, they do sometimes think about those belts and makeup. That doesn't mean you should keep them -- you can't keep everything. I'm just saying that you'll be surprised what things she might ask about.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Funnily enough, I did some spring cleaning in my parents' house today and I just chucked everything non-useful. I can guarantee you that people have more things on their mind than old belts and makeup. People tend to keep stuff they know they'll never need or use again and it's unlikely they'll ever ask about it. "OMG! Where's my woven belt? I need it now!" Not gonna happen.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

It is my luck, as soon as I toss them, my Mom would ask for me to bring them all in. My mother knows what she has, right down to the last hairpin.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Salvation army will send a truck if you have furniture! I spent the summer taking mom's stuff to goodwill and such. Toss at will!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I can hardly wait to get home tonight and take those belts to Goodwill! Thank you! I threw out old make-up (expensive stuff) after a friend reminded me it expires/gets old (Mom stopped wearing make-up after her stroke). I found a huge box of photos of my Mom's step-father and those will go to his biological daughter. Slowly sifting through the boxes. My husband is eager to get his garage back.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Yes, I would throw out the belts and anything else that doesn't have sentimental value but I would do it without your mom's help.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Hi there!!..My mother moved in with us in September of 2012. We had to sell her home, and get rid of what seemed to be TONS of stuff. I myself am a clean freak, so I knew this was going to be a problem. I had mom make a list of what HAD to come. She has her own bedroom, TV/living room, and her own bathroom. We stuck to the list..luckily it wasn't too long. We kept every picture and picture album..quilts..jewelry..china..silver..etc. Her frame of mind wasn't the best during that time either. She wanted to throw out my grandmother's yearbook from high school..yet argue with me about an empty old coffee can..so that is what I was dealing with. My husband and son in law rented a U-Haul...brought what was coming in one load. We invited friends and family to come take the rest, which got rid of a lot...we donated the rest or put it by the road. Sometimes you will have to make the decisions for them..and over 2 years is quite a long time. My mother made a comment one day..."I wish I could have boxed everything up and brought it with me, to have a year to go through it". Oh yes, (sarcasm)..like I really wanted stacks of boxes in my home for her to putter with. I would have ended up nuttier than her if I would have allowed it. Once in a while she will mention something..and it is usually something that didn't mean anything, like nail clippers. NUDGE...if she doesn't need it..toss it...if she hasn't asked about it...toss it...if it is cluttering up YOUR home..toss it. With your mom being in assisted living..I'm sure her space it limited. I would throw it out. Good Luck!!!!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

If Mom is in Assisted Living do you think she will ever return home? If after this long if she did return home, would she remember or even still want some of the items you are considering passing on to another good home? In my opinion, I don't think so. If she has dementia or Alz, chances are she has forgotten many of the things you are referring to. I think it is okay to begin getting rid of items that are not needed and have no sentimental value.

I do have to say however if you have any siblings that may want something, ask them if they can think of anything they want before you get rid of it. My younger sister is very hurt that when our father died she was not given anything. My older sister took all of his ties. They were giving away all his church shirts and I snagged all of them thinking I would make quilts for each of us as a remembrance but they are sitting in storage as Mom takes all my time now. I explained to her that we never divided any of Dads stuff because Mom was still alive and wanted everything. When Mom goes then we will go through all of their stuff and divide it between us. The funny thing is the one item that I was told there would be a fight over is a square tin box that held Chinese cookies that were given to my Dad by a woman down the street as a Thank You gift. It's isn't pretty and it is beat up and paint is missing, but everyone knew that as the cookie tin he and Mom ate their cookies out of for about 30 years. No one knows except a couple of us that my niece asked my Mom for it and Mom gave it to her in her Trust......Uh Oh!!!!!! Now is when you would hear ominous music playing!!!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

nudge nudge . We have the same predicament with a house full of furniture, clothing and enough canned goods to feed an army. nudge nudge nudge.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Most definitely!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.