I am sole caregiver of my Mother, age 79. She has Dementia which is Moderate. Has Non aggressive Ovarian Cancer. This was found accidentally in a CT Scan she had in Feb 2015. She refuses to treat the cancer and I support her choice. She has no pain or problems from this cancer, so far. She is not treating the cancer therefore she is considered Terminal by Medicare. She receives Palliative care at home. The respite for me is from her Hospice Medicare Benefit.
I am my Mothers only living child, I am 54. I am her DPOA, HPOA but not her guardian. I am hoping not to have to cross that bridge.
I have had Major Depressive Disorder with Anxiety since the mid 1990's. I take several medications every day. I have been stable for a long time but being sole caregiver to Mom is starting to affect me.
Mom lives in our second home, in her hometown in NE MI, has lived here since 2007 and was in perfect health then. Her Dementia slowly started to show itself early in 2013 she was put on Aricept. In November of 2014 she started a serious decline and now she is just a mere shadow of the Mother I knew. Due to her Dementia, I have lived with her in NE MI since last November. My husband is living in our other home that is in SE MI where he works. It is a four hour drive from the house down there to the house up here.
All of my medical is in SE MI. I have to see my Psychiatrist at least four times a year. My husband has taken Vacation time to come up and be with Mom, so I am able to go to my medical appointments. My husband should not have to take time off and drive up here every time I have an appointment.
My husband and I have not spent one night alone since last November, a situation I would like to see change. Also we have not lived together since last November which sometimes upsets me. My husband is very supportive and never complains.
Mom won't leave the house, she stopped driving last fall. Only time she will go is to Doctors appointments, which at times can be a huge struggle to get her to go. She only gets dressed when she has a Dr appointment. Otherwise she is in her nightgown and robe around the clock.
No one in her family has offered to help, they all live in this area. In a way I kind of understand why the don't offer. Mom's two brothers came to see her in May. They have always been very close. Sadly, She did not know her brothers - did not recognize them. After an hour visit she still could not make the connection that they were her brothers. She does not know her adult nieces and nephews either.
Unfortunately, I believe Mom is past the point that I could sit down and talk with her about the situation. I considered talking to her but I know within 5 to 10 minutes she will totally forget what we talked about.
Does anyone have any suggestions?