How do I get POA as I need to halt my senior brother from spending his inheritance?

Drumroll, please.... SURPRISE!! (Grumpy old "lady" in photo pops out of cake).

She's snarky.

The other things are simply an explanation of boundary respect. Your brother can't be told what to do or how to spend his money, which is no longer your mother's, by anyone. You are looking for ways to control his spending. He's setting boundaries you don't like.

I'm sorry if you think that it's snarky for me to point out these things. You asked for opinions by posting here.

A great book for people looking to increase their boundary setting ability as well as boundary recognition is Boundaries, by Townsend and Cloud. Many public libraries have it for no charge.

Surprise, please read my posts thoroughly before you post a response, as you apparently didn't read it correctly. And there is no need for a snarky attitude either. His "inheritance" is less than $30K, not a lot of money. Thank you and have a great day. If you have nothing nice to say, please say nothing at all.

If your brother has a stroke and can't drive his manual, maybe he shouldn't drive. And it's his choice how to spend his money. If you disagree with what he spends it on, that is fine too. But he's not obligated to follow your rules about spending money & going to drs.

If Mama wanted her money spent a certain way, she could have protected it by trust. Even better, she could have spent it all herself. Dr. Julian Stanley, economist and sociologist, found that of those families who receive a large inheritance, the money is gone by end of 3rd generation. Your brother is simply following in the paths many have followed before him.

Shane, I can understand your concern.   I just roll my eyes whenever my sig other grown children run out and buy something they really can't afford.   They are always getting new cars every couple of years.   Both sig other and I both own vehicles that are 21 years old, both with over 100k miles, and hardly any major repairs.  I plan to drive mine until the wheels fall off I like that vehicle so much :)

If your late parents had concern about your brother spending money they would have placed your brother's inheritance into a Trust where the Trustee would only give a small amount of the money out to your brother over time.

My sig other has his grown children's inheritance sitting in a trust mainly because if said money was handed out all at once, they both would spend like there is no tomorrow.   And the both are healthy, married, with children.

Good idea about finding a CBT therapist to teach me more effective communication. What happens if he has a stroke or another episode that prohibits his dexterity and has a manual transmission? I am a planner and think ahead as he won't. That is my point with his car.
You are saying he should spend all his money on unnecessary items so he ends up destitute because he is "stupid"? I don't understand your response.

Basically, you are saying that you don't agree with his choices to spend money on things that are legal that bring him some form of happiness, and you don't agree with his choice to not pursue Western medicine.

If he is self neglecting - no water/heat/toilet, eating rotten food, living in a house which would not be accessible by firefighters or EMTs - then call APS with that. If he is not self-neglecting, which has a very narrow definition, it's legal to be stupid. And, "can't fix stupid."

Don't guilt him about his choices or he will chose not to associate with you either. That's what your statement "I told him today our mother, a depression baby and a member of the greatest generation, would not want" is - a guilt trip which pushes him away. Instead, keep the channels of communication open.

I strongly advise you find a CBT / talk therapist to teach to how you can more effectively communicate with him. Talk therapists are great for a specific goal like, "how do I talk to my schiz brother effectively" rather than some vague touchy feel-y psychobabble issue. A therapist will have taken classes in effective communication with mental illness patients obviously and can share those techniques. Insurance often pays for those "therapy" sessions though they really benefit brother's and your relationship.

And really, a manual truck with only 125K miles that's 10 years old - it can probably go another 20 years & outlive him. Those manuals can last 250-400k miles! Men and their trucks have special relationships. :)

If there is a chance that down the road, he could need assistance like Medicaid, make sure you let the attorney know, so they can help you plan with that in mind.

He is functionally independent and by no means would I commit him, but when he is spending money he will need when his 10 y/o truck (manual transmission mind you) with currently 125k miles on it & he will be 69 this year and he is purchasing frivolous tapes on Indian Science for over $100 bucks, and that is only the beginning. He hasn't seen a doctor or a dentist in 35 yrs & he has high blood pressure. I don't want nor need his money but would like to make sure it is there for him. I can't reason with him, told him today our mother, a depression baby and a member of the greatest generation, would not want her hard earned savings spent that way. It's very sad. He has me no matter what but he is not capable of reasonable thought but is really a very nice guy. Thank you. Any other input is welcome. He is no danger to anyone.

I agree. You might check with an experienced attorney about filing with the court for Guardianship, but, that's pretty intensive. I would fully explore just how daunting and thankless that job would be. I think that I would rather explore the idea of creating a trust for him and his expenses. Make sure the attorney is very familiar with Trusts and how they work. That way, the funds will be out of his control and used only for certain needs, which can be detailed, such as education, housing, food, etc.

There are a lot of competent people diagnosed with schiz walking among us. It does not mean that we agree with their choices. I read on a homeless ministry site that most homeless have mental health issues with schiz PD one of the most prevalent.

Brother would have to willingly sign for you to have a POA, but he would be able to revoke it when he got mad with you for taking his $ away.

If you feel he is truly incompetent, then you can try to get guardianship which is a huge step in taking away people's legal rights and almost impossible to do.

If he's committed involuntarily, and you get an emergency guardianship, you might be able to create a trust that only pays out a little per month, but it would be hugely expensive and that might not keep him off the streets if he's addicted. Consult with atty to make a plan before you go this route!

If a parent knows his progeny to be unstable, there should be a trust created in the will. My FIL knew my SIL had a problem and created a trust for her inheritance so that she can't spend it all at once. She's livid, but her inheritance is protected.

He cannot sign a POA. Are you sure he is not a Ward of the State? Usually the mentally ill have a state appointed Guardian.