How do you get past negative responses from someone with dementia that you were caring for that have stuck with you?

suziem my mom was fine until her first stroke and thats when that dementia snuck in, and folks do get ugly with it, but keep in mind when that dementia gets in their brain they dont know what theyre saying like " your trying to kill me with these pills" " i wonder what the police would say if they knew u were holding me prisoner here" it was her own home, anwe had moments of where she was almost herself then "mom not herself returned" she would shake her fist at us behind your back when she was in her "moods" as we called them, we knew how mom was b4 the first stroke, she she had another one 3 years later due to afib, which caused the body to slowly shut down over the next 3 months, she passed away 1 week after her 92nd bday, we all knew that that "alternate" personality as we called it wasnt her , it was dementia. i can clearly understand u felt hurt but understand that was NOT YOUR MOM. its the dementia, hope that helps.

Suzie: I am so sorry that you are feeling unlovable. My mom, told me "I almost hate you", when I told her that I still loved her she said "well you don't have to". I now realize that she wa suffering from early dementia. We too had a very good relationship until her personality started changing. Once, I educated myself about dementia and the changes that can take place in the brain, I know now that she is not the mother that I know. I say this because she is in full dementia and at times she smiles at me and sometimes she frowns. I concentrate on our good times, and know that she did and does love me. Your mother did love you. Don't let that one statement she made 6 months before she died take away those 13 years of good times.

Suzie, another thought might make you feel alittle better, it isn't your 👩 but the horrible disease like the others have said
My dad was the same after his second heart surgery because he was a " very gentle soul " all our lives, so take into account what everyone has said and feel better about yourself. You sound like you have been a wonderful person, hang in there!!😊