my mother and father, 89 and 88 are still living in a five bedroom 3 and a half bath stone colonial house in the Village of Swarthmore PA.(very upscale village)
let's start with my mother. she has had both hips replaced and can barely walk. she can no longer drive, but has a car (in bad shape, just neglected) in the garage that she still pays insurance on. it doesn't move and is in need of a LOT of TLC. she refuses to sell it and save the money she is throwing away on insurance for a car that doesn't move? She has never cleaned and the house looks it. urine smell all over. cat box (i don't even want to talk about it) she sits in front of the tv all day and watches it, or reads the paper that's it. she has fallen numerous times and if she cannot get a hold of the poor neighbors (i say that because they are right there, next door) she calls me or my sister. i don't know how she does the stairs, and if she falls, she won't break a hip, it will be something else and she will end up in a nursing home. I am trying to avoid that senerio.
okay now dad. He still drives (shouldn't be on the road) and works for a woman privately as a groundskeeper. he has been rushed to the hospital numerous times with kidney infections and a bad ulcer. it is always the poor neighbors again, or me , or my sister. we have to take his clothes when we drop him off at the hospital, or he just gets up and leaves when he wants to. when he was in the hospital, i had to cart mom to the store and for her perscriptions, ect. Dad has refused to take his medicine when he is suppoised to, and even told me" not to bother to fill them because i won't take them. he is getting weaker and weaker all the time.
Here is the problem. they will not move to ANY senior facility and they think it is ok to just go on living like this. I will not visit or eat anything in this house because it is so filthy, unless there is an emergency (and there always is)
they think nothing of asking me to cut the grass, weed the garden, ect, ect. I have my own house to take care of and my own family, plus I have my fiances mother living with us (she is the total opposite. sweet, caring and takes care of herself)
How to I get these two out of this house and into someplace safe so ALL of us can live in peace? POA is out. they trust no one, not even me or my sister. Can i call someone? are there people who can actually get through to them?
My sister and I have been trying for ten years now. we have scheduled visits to a senior facility only to have my mother say "oh, i am watching baseball now, i can't go". she always has an excuse.
please someone tell me where to turn as I am at my wits end here with these two stubborn old mules?