i (and all my other siblings) have given up trying to talk some sense into my mother and father who refuse to give up the enormous house that they cannot take care of. It WAS a beautiful five bedroom 31/2 bathroom stone colonial home, in a very expensive (tax wise) town in Delaware county.
My mother is the problem. she refuses to leave the house and move to an assisted living apartment that even I would love to move into. meals cooked for you, no maintenance to worry about, hair salon onsite, theater, bridge club (mom loves to play bridge), shuttle to go shopping and on outings (mom can barely walk much less drive), and the biggest thing, SOMEONE TO CLEAN THE APARTMENT ONCE A WEEK!
the house right now would take forever to clean out and repair. It is in such bad shape, but my parents don't seem to get it. they think it is still worth a fortune (look around, are you serious!). My mother has never ever cleaned (we used to have a cleaning lady come once a week, but that was eons ago) the house smells of urine, dirt, cat litter, and god only knows what else. I will not go into this house unless there is an emergency (mom or dad falling or sick) even then, i pay dearly as it makes me sick from just being inside there (really i am allergic to dust and mold). I have tried for over ten years to get them to move, but they will not. I would love to call someone and just have them go inside. I am sure the house would be declared unsafe, or unsanitary, but then I would be the bad guy here. At this point in time, I only mention it once in a while as it stresses me out so bad, i get terrible headaches. Why don't they get this? All I want is for them to be somewhere clean and safe where I can come to visit them.
Somehow Mom thinks that is the wrong thing to do. It would even be cheaper than what they are paying now to stay in this huge pit of a house.
so what happens (God forbid) if Dad gets sick, or dies? No way Mom can take care of herself. I can't take care of her either. I already have my mother in law living with us (she had enough sense to sell her house and move into an apartment, but they abused her so she moved in with us)
so there it is. I need some real solutions here as I seem to be the only sibling on a mission to get them somewhere safe. If they move into assisted living together, it will be a lot easier if one of them get sick or dies. harsh but who said reality wasn't harsh. I need real solutions for a very selfish stubborn woman to let go of this " money pit" of a house. PLEASE help!