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I've build my career and supports in the South. I'm 55 and starting a career over in the North may not be an option for me to replace my salary. Recently divorced and one child still in high school. Moving North is not an option for my fragile family. How do I get them here or talk to them about moving here in an assisted living situation?

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I really feel for you. Caught between a rock and a hard place..But your children are the future...Better to put their interest first...And if you don't take care of yourself, you will have nothing with which to take care of others (mentally, emotionally, physically, financially) So I guess that puts parents in 3rd place. Maybe you can try to figure out just what kind of assistance is needed and how to best supply it where they are. At their age it is unlikely they will change or move. It is also unlikely that you will be able to find out the real situation without visiting. A few long weekends should do it. You might ask them to give you a POA. Or at least open a joint checking account so in case they go in the hospital or something they will not have to worry about their bills being paid.
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That's a tough question that many people face. Years ago it might have been simpler, but with today's economy maintaing a secure job is extremely important. Moving there is not an option, especially still having a child that is not out of college and employed.

Look on the internet under Medicare's site, along with Seniors.org to get some ideas of places up there, or living by you. At 95, they will be needing to move to an Assisted Living facility, or full time care facility at some point. You will have to research those places before it becomes an urgent situation.

Assisted Living facility will be the best option to help your mom care for your dad at this point in time. Medicare's site has a rating system (cleanliness, level of care, violations, food, etc.). Yes, there are some temporary options of having CNA's and Home Health Aides visit to assist your mom, but that will be very short term, and to cover the expense of their help or an Assisted Living Facility, you will need to have a secure job with steady income, not to mention your High School Student. You need stability, whether it be finical, or emotional support from your friends. You definitely will need to reduce stress, by having outlets of enjoyment (parks, movies, evening with friends, sight seeing, etc.). You can also get a social worker that does eldercare to help your parents and yourself set up a comfortable living relationship. Hugs sent your way.
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First, accept that there is no perfect solution. There are drawbacks and benefits either way.

Have a look at this article on the subject, by one of the best writers on caregiving issues around:
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/Should-Adult-Children-Try-to-Convince-Mom-and-Dad-to-Move-Close-to-them-133263.htm
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Hi Ruby, Are you the only child or do you have sibs? What about your Mom's husband, does he have family up north that will help your Mom with care giving?

While it's generally not a good idea to move folks with dementia, if the care is up to only you and your Mom, I'd try to persuade her to move south to your neck of the woods. I've been the caregiving decison maker for someone with dementia (got it at 95 1/2, BTW) . It isn't easy. I'm younger and energetic and the person had financial resources and still it was exhausting. AND, they were never in my home. To do this long distance wouldn't be my first option. But there are many unknowns here. Your Mom might be more open than you think if she is taking on more care giving. Keep us posted.
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If they want to stay where they are, why would you move them? The age of 95 is quite old to be showing early stages of dementia. I would call the Local Area Agency on Aging where they live and see what help they may be able to offer you. Let them stay where they are, you are restarting your career, you should concentrate on that. You do not need the extra responsibility of caring for two people that do not want to be there.
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