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It is unsanitary and while I don't think elderly people need a shower/bath everyday I think once a week is necessary. And I'd be willing to bet that once she has a shower or a bath she'll feel so much better. Everyone does.

It's a delicate situation when trying to get an elderly parent into the shower. The parent may not want us, their grown children, to see them naked. They may be embarrassed. Or they may not feel up to it physically. If you've tried to get your mom to bathe, with your assistance, and she just puts her foot down hire a bath aide (go through her Dr. to get one) to come to the house and give your mom a once over. Medicare will pay for it. And when bath aides bathe someone it takes, like, 10 minutes. Bada bing bada bang and done!

When I cared for my dad bathing was non-negotiable. I couldn't get him to take a shower, he refused my assistance, I even broke down and told him that his not showering was unhygienic and gross all to no avail. I got a bath aide to come over and after the shower he felt so much better! She even shaved and trimmed his beard.

As caregivers we have to compromise on a lot of things and let go of a lot of things but bathing, to me, isn't a compromise. It's essential.
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If your mom hasn't bathed or washed for a year and doesn't smell? Well, you must be a smoker. ;)
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I haven't been on here for very long, but that is sure one recurring question that comes in here.

My answer is that you don't. Give the person a thorough sponge bath sitting down. Have them stand up just to do their private parts. Powder and lotion them up. Use a big absorbent towel to cover their shoulders and a very wet washcloth to shampoo their hair. Works fine.

You couldn't DRAG my mom into a shower or bath tub. The water is either too hot or too cold. The splash of the water (shower) is terribly uncomfortable. She would (and has) hollered to high heaven when I thought, silly me, I'll just throw her in the shower.

Sometimes, mom doesn't even want a sponge bath. (I have a caregiver come once a week for $30 to do that.) When she gets THAT way, I remind her that she's stinky. ;) Last time, she didn't want the aid to wash her private parts. I tried to talk her into it . . . she'd have none of it . . . so I said, "Okay, Dee (the aid). Don't worry about it. I'll have Tom do it later." !!!!! Guess what? She let her finish. ;)

Whatever works!
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I am the daughter and I am taking care of my mom. She has no physical problems, some memory issues. She has access yo both tub, shower and bath wipes but hasn't used any in over a year, any but insists she does. She doesn't smell bit it seems unsanitary. Shouldn't I insist?
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Well, it depends upon a lot of things.

Is your parent mobile?
Does your parent wish to take a bath/shower?
What are his/her illnesses?
If he/she doesn't want to bathe, why not?
What kind of tub do you have?
Would your parent need assistance in the tub/shower?
Is this a mom or a dad?
Are you a son or a daughter?
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