How do you get your parent to sit on the toilet long enough to pee or poop? Mom wants to hop up after 5 to 10 seconds!

I can sympathize with how difficult this is, but it seems to me about the only solution is to physically be in there with her. Of course you can't watch her every second of every day, but for your sake, maybe you need to watch her every second that she is in the bathroom. Sigh.

Do you have any in-home care? Sounds like Mom is at a point where you badly need and deserve some help!

Thanks jeannegibbs. My mother has started attending adult day care and I am trying to prevent not only myself from having to clean up poop mess, but also the staff at day care. I don't want the day care telling me in a month that she is too advanced in her deterioration that she can no longer go there. Day care is my only respite! :(

Mom is good with everything else, just the pee/poop situation. That's why I will try almost anything to get this figured out.

Well, solving it with a television, for example, wouldn't carry over to day care.

Ask them at day care whether someone can accompany her on each trip to the bathroom. Also ask if they have any suggestions for the short bathroom attention span.

That's a messed up situation. Problem here is the exact opposite ..... Mother stays in, on the bog, latrine, head, commode, throne, porcelain, crapper -whatever you choice to name it- far too long. To the point that she will nod-off and fall of said 'equipment'.

Now every time Mother heads to the 'executive room' I ask, "Where are you off to?" To which she replies, "To the bathroom, do you mind? Do have have to report to you every time? I didn't (don't) do that to you, do I? " Of course the reply given is along the line of, "I don't spend all day there either. Get in, get done and get out."

There has been more then one time Mother has fell asleep on the pot and off the same. That scared the #@$% out of me; to hear a thud on the floor, knowing that only to two of us are there. Mother says it's, "My library; I read while I'm waiting to go." READ WHAT, the only thing in there are 'word search' puzzle books, and I now there aren't used.....I've checked.

So you see, my is the exact opposite problem. To add to the problem, which is for now rectified, are laxatives. Mother says, to the neighbor (female), 'I have gone to the bathroom for days. Do you have any (huh) magic pills?' For those here that may not understand 'have gone' is bowel movement, or #2, or for me dropped the browns at the super bowel and 'magic pills' it's Mothers code for laxative. Heaven forbid Mother would tell ME of the situation. After all, I'm her son -I get it alright. With Mother's Dementia, she doesn't remember if, or when, the kids were dropped off at the pool last. Now I have to embarrass Mother by asking if the aforementioned took place. Of course, that leads to more of the 'I'm your mother, what business is it if............?' The calendar now has a 'new' dimension, tracking the 'deuce.' ALL because 'magic pills' didn't work (after 20 minutes), need more. WELL after having taken six (6) within sixty (60) minute span.....ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE. The person I have entrusted to 'check-in' at Mother's bedtime (22:00), thank GOD, a retired Caregiver did not hear Mother. Caregiver has a key; upon entry and calling for Mother and looking around -in heighten state of concern due to lack of response- found Mother in the 'library' head on her lap with arms draped at side and hands actually on the floor. Still on the throne, yet UN-responsive....Mother was in a deep sleep, having spent who know how long there. The worse fear was put to rest when a pulse was located, followed by louder vocal and mild shaking.

Sorry for the rambling or TMI (too much information).

Have you asked your Mother's PCP for advise? Remember how we 'trained' our children, for those that have them, or younger siblings. May work for our aged parent(s) as well. Praise them for completing the mission, offer a reward of sorts. We are dealing with a reverse process, to the point of changing 'diapers' for which there is no escape.

LifeRyder, pills that work in 20 minutes, that's news to me, but I'm new here :-) My husband took Colace to keep regular when drugs and diet interfered, but those don't work that fast.

Make sure the neighbors know to be "out" of laxatives and any other pills when she asks. You can get a pharmacist to give you placebo/sugar pills if she insists on taking some.

As to get to getting someone to stay longer or less time, I'm stumped. I haven't encountered that yet. Good luck to everyone.

Have told Mother there is no magic pill, read the GD package, it states 6-24 hours to take effort. Will Mother remember? More probably not then so. Neighbor(s), Companions & Caregiver have been told, "NO medication, including OTC are to be given, bought or left.....PERIOD. I do like you idea of a placebo though, hopefully it won't come to that.....BUT we never know.

We're in this situation now, too - I don't know if it makes me feel better or worse when I read that others are going thru the same thing, since it is a nasty situation. I'm anxious to know of any possible solutions!

I don't know if this will work, but we had a similar issue with a lady I was a caregiver for when I worked at an Adult Day Health program many years ago. She had no problem staying on the toilet, but she would (and I'm sorry if this is TMI for people with queasy stomachs) "dig" the feces out with her fingers. It was horrible- we'd have to scrub under her fingernails to get her clean, and well, you can imagine how well that went over. We figured maybe she was doing this because she was constipated, so the nurse talked to the doctor & the lady was given stool softeners, but this behavior continued. She wouldn't "go" if someone was in there with her, so we had to leave her to her own devices. Our solution was to put gloves on her when we assisted her to go into the bathroom- she didn't seem to mind and would leave them on. This saved her from scratching herself with her fingernails, and it saved us from traumatizing her with trying to get her hands clean again- we could just throw the gloves away and help her wash her hands as normal.

Sahk,
I have the same problem with my mother. I have to watch everything she eats because some things cause her digestive problems and I still haven’t figured out what those things are. We have eliminated chocolate, gravy and now pumpkin pie. They cause her to have horrible diarrhea.
I have started following her to the door of the bathroom whenever she goes because I never know when the episode of diarrhea is going to occur. She doesn’t have it on a consistent basis so I don’t believe it is her medications. She doesn’t like for me to follow her but I have given her the excuse that I am afraid she will fall, which she did last week.
On Tuesday she smelled horribly and I followed her to the bathroom. I normally stand outside the door but for some reason I opened the door to check on her. She had horrible diarrhea and when she had pulled her Depends down it got all over the outside of the toilet, her clothing, her shirt, etc. I found her trying to use wet toilet paper to clean up the mess. There was feces all over her hands, the counter, the toilet roll holder, you get the idea. I made her stop whatever she was doing so we could get her to the shower downstairs. She wanted to pull her pants off but I asked her to put them back on and to put her hands in front of her so that she didn’t touch the staircase railing or anything. It is a horrible, horrible thing to deal with and I too am still trying to figure out a solution to this problem.
We have often found feces on the light switches, the door jambs, the toilet roll holder, etc. We were sanitizing everything. Then we figured out that she wasn’t washing her hands after she went to the bathroom and now I have to stand there and watch her wash her hands because she will tell me that she has but she hasn’t. Now I understand that she is having diarrhea and she doesn’t want to tell anyone because she is embarrassed. I have asked her several times to let me know if she has it but because of her dementia she can’t remember to call me or she is embarrassed. SO….I follow her to the bathroom. I have tried to get her on a schedule for bathroom trips and I am constantly with her to make sure she doesn’t have an issue and to make sure she washes her hands.
After this last incident I have started giving her one capsule of psyllium husk powder each morning and one with her evening meal. Psyllium husk powder will help to firm up her stools but not make her constipated. I certainly don’t want to plug her up. So, I am testing this out to see if this will help to get her on a schedule of pooping. If so, I will let you know.
Cleaning up feces is the worst thing in the world and I feel for you.
Let me know if you find a solution.

Yikes, yikes, yikes is all I can say. I am blessed to have a mom who doesn't have toileting issues. For the ones who won't stay seated in the bathroom, I'd try a potty chair where ever there is "entertainment" like the living room (with TV). Easier to empty a potty chair than clean up a messed up bathroom.

And for LifeRyder, try Miralax. You give it every day and it assures no constipation. My mom's doctor (a geriatrician) prescribed it for my mom and dad when they had issues years ago. You can now buy it over the counter. Just give it to her every day and her constipation issues will be a thing of the past.