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He is 68 years old and needs me for nearly everything such as transportation, food preparation and serving, picking out his clothes, when we go out I have to take him inside the men's room to use the bathroom. He refuses to go to the Kentucky School for the Blind. .I have to depend on my Social Security and Disability checks as well as his Social Security and a very small retirement check each month so we barely have enough for food. I feel there has to be some type of compensation for the care that I have given for all these years. I'm not looking for back pay, just a starting point. He does not want to be at an assistant living facility or nursing home because he's quite comfortable here so that is off the table. I'm just looking for help

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You are doing an extraordinary job of taking care of a man who is no longer your husband. This type of question is asked routinely and there is no standard answer. Depends if your ex has funds to pay you, for one.
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God love you. I guess you didn't remarry.
I agree with everyone. Make sure places you check out know your ex's and have divorce papers handy. He may qualify for help based on his income alone. Hopefully you don't have joint accounts. If so, I would separate them. See if you can get some free legal help or pay on scale.
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All the above are good I should know my husband is blind deaf and only can use have his body he has no income and I airport him as funny as it sounds we acturly live better now that he can't work no more two cars to repair or gas our state has free trans port for him he gets food help as well money should not be a worry and if I need I can get nurses and daycare for him I do what you do go to the men's room with him shave and bath him take the benneys and don't worry about pay most of your expense can be taken off taxs he's your friend you like him do your job or step back and get a nurse you got your money his money that's enough if not what can I say as long as you have a roof over your head food in your mouth and a best friend you have it all budget housing is readlybavaliby to him and you as a care taker food and free transport and free help health people wish there lives where that good your poor you get free Medicaid you get your Medicare they don't have health care unless it Obama care and then that cost them they. Go to work every day not knowing if they will have a job the next food prices go up and rent beyond there income they get nothing and have to live in there cars please don't feel money is needed to help your ex do it with joy or not its not what you have but how you use it a rich person can be more in financial trouble then a poor person
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In Ohio, if patient meets the conditions to qualify for the Medicaid Passport program then they can choose to enroll in the "Choices Homecare Attendant Services" (this service began in March 2014) which allows the patient to hire and choose their own caregiver. The caregiver can be anyone in the family EXCEPT: spouse, parents, step-parents, authorized representatives, legally responsible family members, power of attorney, foster caregiver, authorizing health care professional, legal guardians.
In my circumstances I can NOT be paid to care for my mother-in-law but my children (over age 18) can be and have completed the process to become a provider. Medicaid pays their wages. My mother-in-law is VERY happy to be living in her own home with family members taking care of her.
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I would contact the commission for the blind, office of the aging or similar in your state. Usually there are extras available for the blind that do not require you to qualify for medicaid. Getting paid is not likely to happen unless he does qualify for medicaid and you get yourself certified at a health care agency that works with medicaid.
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If your combined incomes are low enough, you will qualify for food stamps and the food pantry of you have one on your area.
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Just want to say am sending you a gold halo for your devotion to your ex-husband's well being...Bless you.

Grace + Peace,
Bob
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Is your ex a vet? Was his blindness caused by military duty?
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Every caregiver feels they ought to be paid. It is only natural to feel shorted out of your life when you sacrifice so much of it, for your loved one. But there just is not enough money in the government's purse to pay 10 million caregivers enough to make the hurt go away.
So, don't expect any miracles from anywhere.
There may be some very small (minimum wage for a few hours a week) caregiver pay from SOME states...but in order to receive it (in those states) you have to apply for Medicaid for your husband, and he cannot have more than $2000 in assets, plus other qualifications. Then, tthey might be able to offer family caregivers a tiny amount of pay--but, the paychecks will have federal and state income taxes deducted, Social Security / Medicare tax, unemployment tax, and they do report all of your pay to the fed and state, and this could disqualify you from SNAP, SSDI, and negatively impact your Soc Sec checks. also keep in mind, they won't pay more for home care than it would cost to have him in a facility. And they might even decide that you are not capable of taking care of him, and order that he receive care from a total stranger (in your home) or that he must move to a facility because he is not safe living in his own home. So there are many considerations, and hardly anybody gets paid enough to make it "worth it."
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Wanitonaaron, vast majority of non-agency caregivers are not paid unless the person whom they are taking care of can pay you out of their own pocket.

If you live in the States, see If your parent qualifies for Medicaid, the State might allow a trained Caregiver come in to help for a couple hours. Also check to see if your State is one of those States that has a “Cash and Counseling” program to help you out, it‘s worth looking into. Note that each State has their own rules, regulations, and programs.

Also contact your county agency on aging for programs such as Case Management, Meals on Wheels, Adult Day Care, housing, care referrals, etc,... go to the website link below.... click on your State.... now click on the city/county. https://www.agingcare.com/local/Area-Agency-on-Aging

And please come back to the forums if you have any Caregiving questions, we would be more than happy to share our experiences with you, and give you ideas.

Wouldn't it be nice if everyone who is home caring for their parents/grandparents/aunts/ uncles/spouse/sibling/child could get paid for the time they put in.... but that alone would bankrupt the States and the Federal government within months.
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