I guess I would try to think back to how much Mom got paid for caring for me when I was very young. Find someone who knew the going rate at that time of your life. Sometimes love is hard to put a price tag on.
Hi Rosiemc, I did get paid a little for caring for my mother. The way it worked for me was that first I became Mom's legal guardian (granted this status by a court). I kept track of my mileage and hours in a log book (one that I could show the IRS and the court). I had to get written agreement from my other family members to pay myself out of Mom's bank accounts. We worked out a "family rate" of $10 per hour and I did not charge for about 1/3 of the time, for example when I was preparing meals I would be fixing anyway for my family's dinner, or running errands I would have done anyway. I had to get court approval for the payments; their main concern was that I not deplete Mom's finances in a way that meant she could not afford assisted living or a nursing home if she needed it and also that did not deprive the other beneficiaries in her will of the bulk of her estate. I accounted for my expenses with receipts, and of course the payments count as income on your taxes. The downside of getting paid was it made me completely responsible for Mom and I had to deal with Medicare, Social Security, doctors and medications management, and things like brushing her dentures, clipping her nails, changing her Depends, etc. It was stressful and taxing and I was very, very happy the day we moved Mom to a full-time Dementia care place and extremely relieved we had conserved the funds to do so. So, pay yourself but keep in mind you may need money to get full-time professional care for her at some point.
