My LONG story is condensed with the points that my 74 y/o mom is in a SNF with mild to moderate dementia that I believe was brought on from out of control diabetes and a 3 week hospital stay. Last year we lost my only sister and of course that depression did not help. It's always good to see her.
I lost my job about a month before she went into the hospital. It was good to have time to tend to her, but she had a terrible decline in one crappy nursing home for a few months before we moved her to another one. (They are all the same) anyway, me, my mom, my sis and my aunt lived in a four flat apartment (I lived with mom) and now it's just me and my aunt. The building is falling apart and now the furnance blew so we need to move or get it fixed.
I hate how my life has become. All I do is drive out to visit my mom and back home. My aunt expects to come with me everyday and I really see no need for her to do that EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. she just sits in the corner and reads a book anyway, what is the point? It's getting to me because she is seeing this as the "daily usual". if I get the car and go out early she will see the car is gone and call to see where I am and when I'm coming back to pick her up. I feel like I have to sneak with my own car like some cheating wife.
I do appreciate her company and help at times but she is annoying and was like this when my mom was at home. She'd expect us to invite her along EVERYWHERE. If I want to do anything after visiting my mom she's there so it won't be much fun. She always wants to go to the grocery store and acts like that is the only place there is to go. There were a few times she brought up other places like we're going to be hangout buddies. This may sound terrible but I'm not trying to make my 70 year old aunt my daily running buddy. I want to do more than drive to the grocery store. I can tell I'm getting anger and resentment issues because I feel trapped and suffocated. If I decide I want to go visit my mom at 10am I can't because she's expecting the "usual" time of 2pm as that is when we went for a couple of weeks. She sees us going together daily as "the usual" and I can't stand it.
I also don't feel like I have to give her a daily schedule of what I want to do with my car. When we go to visit my mom, at the end she'll say "see you tomorrow" or if I say I will have something else to do the next day she'll say to call and let her know what's what. So she is always setting it up to where she is expected to come along or expected to know my schedule or whereabouts. I feel like it's just to have somewhere to go and get out of the house but it's really getting to me. I'm sick of her and it's terrible to want company and can't get the company I actually want! I also have to start to looking for a job. Just wanted to vent and see if anyone has some advice as to how to get out of this rut so far.