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It has been about two weeks since her last shower. I wear light clothing and get in there with her and help her and make sure she doesn't fall. She has a shower seat, she has a shower head on a hose. I make sure the water is not too hot or too cold. I 'm careful to not spray it in her face and give her time to cover her eyes/ears when I rinse her face and hair, I ask her what she wants to wash next, she gets a nice warm robe afterward, etc. etc. Her last shower, she kept saying, "Oh, that feels so good" when she was under the warm water, when I was shampooing her hair, etc. and she admitted she felt better afterward. But between showers she fights it tooth and nail, and says, "not now" or "not today". I think she would resist even more if I offered to use a warm washcloth instead of a shower, because it would still mean taking off her clothes and being cold, and I don't think it would do as much good as an actual shower.

Any suggestions?

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My father was the same. The longest he didn't shower was 2 weeks. If he didn't want to go, he didn't. What I have found is that ...my sister and her kids have always been visiting us every weekend since the time she moved out of home. I have no sense of smell (since I was a child, I could walk past a dead animal and not noticed the rotting smell). When I can smell his stinkiness, I tell him that I can smell him and he needs to shower. I don't ask him. I just remind him that I can't really smell things. So, if I can smell him - then he must really smell. He 99 percent showers when I say this. Since he's now bedridden, at first he wouldn't let the 1-hour caregivers sponge bathe him. I told him that if he doesn't let them clean him well, he's going to get rashes and bedsores. I remind him of mom's bedsore from the hospital and how it kept going deep inside her. So far, he's been allowing them to sponge bathe him. So far....
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My father was the worst about not wanting to shower. He would clean himself with some wipes at night, but he would have gone for years without a shower if left to his own preferences. My mother helped him with his showers when I would remind them it was time. He was not given an option. He was told that he was going to get a shower. We got the house warmer and prepared everything for him and he followed through. He always felt better after he was clean. When he became very weak, we brought in a personal care assistant to bathe him.
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