Above is the best way. I knew someone who would allow parent to write checks and then told them "I will mail them for you; then took the envelopes but never mailed (bills set up to be paid online). This let mom think she still had control by preserving her tight to write checks not knowing they were void.
Your profile states mom has dementia. I went through this with my Dad after the utilities were close to being turned off due to unpaid bills. I already had POA so I called all the utilities, credit card bank, garbage, phone etc, and changed the mailing address to my home.
With my Dad I've learned to not even try and discuss any changes with him. He will never agree to anything, I just do what has to be done. He thinks mom does the bills. She slipped up once and told him I was doing them, he had a fit but by the next day had forgotten all about it.
Do you have POA? Can you write checks on his account?
Dianne, one thing you could do is set up her bills so they could be paid either automatically or online. It is the way I pay all of my mothers bills. Most of them can be put on her credit card. A couple of the utility bills and the credit card bill are paid each month online by ACh from her checking account. It takes very little time and I don't have to worry if everything gets paid. Do you think you could talk her into letting you do this?
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With my Dad I've learned to not even try and discuss any changes with him. He will never agree to anything, I just do what has to be done. He thinks mom does the bills. She slipped up once and told him I was doing them, he had a fit but by the next day had forgotten all about it.
Do you have POA? Can you write checks on his account?