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I need some suggestions please! My mom has been in AL two weeks. I told her if she does not go to the dining room at least once a day she will have to move to a board & care. The place she is in is really nice but they expect their AL residents to participate by eating or socializing in other ways. She did take the art class but only because someone in the family escorted her. We are

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We had to back off. It's the only way. You still check in with nursing to see how she is doing, but you remain invisible, or you send a cousin on a reconnaissance mission. Yup, deploy the spies. And tell her you'll be back in a week.
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Thanks ba8alou for the response. Where my mom is at, every little extra thing costs extra. So if I back off, the AL staff better step up to the plate. Usually they come by and poke their head in and ask if she's eaten and my mom will say, oh honey I'm not hungry now and that's it, they leave and she doesn't eat. Sometimes they bring her something (extra cost of course) but that doesn't get her to meet people. Ok, ok, I think I get it. I need to take your advice. But I do let her know I won't be by as often? Thanks.
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I read on another thread that you're visiting every day. Don't. Let the AL staff deal with this, they've seen it all before. It's very much like when I taught nursery school and when I helped direct a summer camp. These people know what they are doing. Mom will gather hungry and she'll eat. That being said, when my mom clearly could no longer live alone, we moved her to a lovely assisted living place. It was too much assistance. Mom didn't need the sorts of assistance they were able to provide. We did better research and got her into an independent living facility where she thrived. But step back a bit and see if she settles in. And keep letting us know how it's going.
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