Follow
Share

My mother and I thought it might be good to own a home together for protection of each other in the event of death on the part of one of us. Although I have tried many times, my Mom is never loving but only critical and demanding of me. I can seemingly never get things right, and she takes delight in pointing out things like past divorces that were not on my doing to me to beat me down emotionally. In hind sight, I see that many of my marriage problems stemmed from her direction. Father died at 58 and mom has been with me in house in and out at times. She never worked, does not drive, and I am feeling like Cinderella.
What can I do to get Mom out of the house, and what will happen if I do? Will they take my house to pay for her bills? I feel very stuck. She gives me grief daily. She is 91

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
From your profile, sounds like your mom is just old, crabby and mean. At 91 it is just a matter of time until she becomes more dependent and requires 24 hour care. However, that may not happen at all, she may just pass peacefully.

You accepted her share to buy a house together, checking with an attorney can clarify for you what it would take to back out of this arrangement. My guess is you bought the house together out of necessity, else why would you take on a mean business partner. Backing out may not be practical. Also it could be hurtful to mom. Buying a house together and implementing this plan to live together is not something that happened on the spur of a moment, you do have a commitment here, so please try to make it work before throwing in the towel.

You may need to face the reality of trying to make the arrangement you set up work. Try to get out of the house on a daily basis, make sure you have friends, book club, whatever.....do not let mean mom be the center of your world. Get respite.

Make a plan for when she becomes more dependent.

I feel for you, sometimes the best intentions can get us in bad situations.

Good luck
L
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Getting Mom out is complicated by the fact that she co-owns the house with you. Can you afford to buy her half? Would she agree to sell it to you?

If she agreed to move out, what kind of care would she need? Could she live independently? Would she need assisted living or a nursing home? How would this be paid for?

This would be fairly straight-forward if you owned the house alone. Since that is not the case, maybe you are going to need to figure out how to reduce the stress of living with her. I suggest counselling for you, to help you learn ways of coping.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Well if she can still take care of herself, you should definitely move out. There is no good in being beaten down on a daily basis. If you have been there over five years, you can stay in the home but you won't be allowed to sell it without paying the Nursing Home bills first. Talk to an Elder Attorney.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You don't say whether your mother has Alz or dementia or how her health is. We know she's a pretty miserable person in general, but how's her health? That would make a difference as to how anyone can respond in my opinion. If she's 91 now, but your dad died at age 58 does that mean she's been living alone or with YOU for 33 years?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.